For All That It Takes

CHAPTER 16

Kier left his condo when I was probably bathing myself inside. Tumagal ako nang mahigit kalahating oras sa loob ng banyo. I know that I was there as his house keeper but I couldn't stand looking at his face after what he did to me. Bayaran man akong babae ay hindi ko pa rin iyon gusto. Because I know for a fact that I also deserve to receive some respect. Dahil tao rin ako at babae pa rin ako.

Nilibot ko ang buong lugar niya. I already went there before for less than five times but I didn't had the chance to roam around exactly. Tanging mga tingin lamang ang nagagawa ko no'n.

I was wiping the photo frame that was on the counter table when my phone on my pocket vibrated. I stopped what I was doing and checked what it was. I saw Harold's registered number calling.

Umupo ako sa lapag at binitawan ang basahan na hawak ko para sagutin ang tawag niya.

"Bakit tumawag ka?" bungad na tanong ko kay Harold nang sagutin ko iyon.

Narinig kong humugot ng malalim na hininga ang nasa kabilang linya. Inilayo ko sa tainga ko ang selpon na hawak ko bago may pagtatakang tinignan iyon.

"Hoy, Harold, bakit ka sabi napata—" sigaw ko sana sa kanya ngunit naputol iyon nang bigla siyang magtanong sa akin.

"Was I really an asshole that you didn't even bothered to tell me about your pregnancy back then, Haier?" dinig ko ang hinanakit sa boses niya at... Was he drunk?!

Ano ba ang p-pinagsasabi niya ngayon? It was too early to drink yet he was there calling me drunk. It was only around nine in the morning.

"Hoy, lalaki! Kung lasing ka ay huwag mo akong pagtripan, puwedi ba?! What pregnancy are you talking about?!" I yelled on the phone.

"I'm asking you to stop fucking playing with me right now, Haier. Please..." He's pleading me. The person who wrecked me was actually pleading me. And it made my heart sting a little.

Harold and I, we had the relationship that we cherished. Or maybe I'd cherished.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na paghinga at humilig sa gilid ng counter table habang tinititigan ko ang selpon kong hawak-hawak ko ngayon.

Should I tell him? But I thought... I thought that he knew it? Ang akala ko ba ay alam niya iyon kaya niya ako iniwan noon? So what's the use of asking me now? Didn't... Didn't he knew about it?

I closed my eyes and opened it as I felt my heart beating because of the fear that he'll ask me further about it. I don't want to remember it vividly. Because the pain it brought on me was too much that I thought I couldn't bear it. Because I thought that I couldn't be able to keep on going when I lost my child. When I couldn't even had the time to touch his little hands. When I couldn't even hear him crying because I wasn't there.

"Listen, Harold, okay? Makinig ka sa akin ng mabuti dahil hindi ko na ito uulitin," ani ko.

There's no point on keeping it from him. I guess. Hindi lang para sa akin kung hindi ay maging para sa kanya. If he didn't knew it, then I'll tell him. Para na rin palayain ang sarili ko sa ideyang hindi niya ako kayang panindigan noon.

"May trabaho ako ngayon, Harold. Isa pa, you're drunk. I don't think we can talk about it right now. Go and sober up, okay? I'll text you where we can meet but make sure that you're fine. Sige na, matulog ka na muna," I was on the verge of hanging up the call when he spoke again.

"How the fuck can I sleep when that fucking thought keeps playing inside my fucking head, Haier?! Huh?! Tell me..." He's really drunk. The sound of his voice says it all.

"Matulog ka na muna ngayon. Mamayang gabi pa ako bakante kaya mamaya pa ako puwedi—"

Natigil ako nang makarinig ako nang parang may nabasag. Muling nangunot ang noo ko.