For All That It Takes

CHAPTER 28

Do I really need to tell Kier? Do he really need to know?

Kung si Gael ang pag-uusapan ay palaging gusto ko ang desisyon na magpapasaya sa anak ko. It is mother's happiness seeing her child being happy.

Pero paano naman ako? What should I do exactly? Bury the past, the aches, betrayals that I felt? Hindi iyon gano'ng kadali. Accepting it easily isn't easy. Dahil buhay ko at nararamdaman iyon ng anak ko.

Hearing Gael praised his father, it somehow buried a fang on my chest. My son saying that, was a bit painful. I felt the bitterness that it brought. It was kind of suffocating.

I was leaning on the veranda of our unit past nine on the evening. Looking at the view of the city that I used to like before. Thinking for what should I do because I was still having a hard time deciding where should I go.

Keeping it from Gael, it makes me selfish. Gayung alam ko naman na gustong-gusto ng bata ang makilala ang ama niya. But if I also tell him, I didn't know what possibly happen. Basta ang ayaw ko lang ay ang makitang dehado ang anak ko.

Napukaw ako mula sa pag-iisip ko nang tungkol doon nang marinig kong tumunog ang selpon ko. Agad akong napangiti nang makita ko ang numero ni Harold.

I answered his call.

"Miss me?" Nagbibirong tanong ko.

I heard him tsked from the other line. I smiled in an instant hearing his reaction.

"Uh-huh?" He laughed.

"Wala ka bang trabaho? It's daylight there, right?" I asked.

"Of course I have. Silly," aniya.

"Anyway, how was there? Si Menchie? That girl's not even giving me a call, Harold," ungot ko.

Narinig ko ulit ang tawa niya. Tumingala ako at tinignan ang madilim nang kalangitan.

"Oh, come on, Haier! Dalaga na si Menchie, of course she'll go hanging out with her peers, yeah?" I could tell that Harold was making a face on me there.

"Tsk, ewan ko sa'yo!" I yelled. "Just make sure that she's studying well or else I'll take her here with us," banta ko.

"Alright, love," sabay halakhak niya sa kabilang linya.

Tsk.

Napapilig na lamang ako ng aking ulo. If Kier is just like Harold, maybe everything of these aren't that hard for the both of us. O mas tamang sabihin na sa aming tatlo. But Kier is definitely not Harold. Malayo at magkaibang-magkaiba sila.

"By the way," I became attentive when I heard him stopped laughing and became serious by the moment.

"Hmmm?" I waited.

"How is it going with Kier? Did you tell him already about his son?" Seriously, he asked.

Natahimik ako.

Should I lie and answer him that I did or should I be honest and tell him that I didn't yet?

"Haier?" Dinig kong tawag ni Harold sa pangalan ko.

"H-ha?" utal na tanong ko.

"Tinatanong ko kung alam na ba ni Kier na anak niya si Gael?" Pag-uulit niya.

I closed my eyes and bit my lips that I almost tasted a metal.

"You haven't, right?" It was Harold.

Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko bago sagutin ang tanong niya.

"I-I was about to tell him b-but you know that it isn't that simple—"

He cut me off.

"Edi ako na ang gagawa kung hindi mo kaya, Haier. Just stop beating around the bush with him and your bullshits!" sigaw niya sa akin.