For All That It Takes

EPILOGUE

"I'm sorry, Szaji. I really am," Amore's fucking crying in front of my face.

She just admitted that she's pregnant.

"Then what do you want me to do, Amore?" I asked her. Controlling my damn anger.

"He's going to take his responsibility as the father. Monty and I already talked about this, Szaji. Please understand," she mumbled.

That fast? Guess he's hardworking then.

I rubbed my face abruptly. I just couldn't understand why Amore did it.

"Like I fucking care?" I said sternly.

Amore looked up on me. Her pleading eyes were making my inside to go numb.

"Szaji," she protested.

Was it because she didn't love me? Was it her reason why did she cheat on me?

"Potangina lang, Amore! Potangina lang at nabuntis ka ng gagong 'yon!" I yelled at her face.

It was my fucking pride as a man. I did everything that I thought I should do. But that mother fucker really has the guts!

"You know that I don't love you, Szaji! I don't love you enough to think of getting married and have kids with you! Can't you understand?!"

"So why the fuck did you fucking agreed with this fucking engagement then?!"

If she don't love me, was it that hard for her to be at least honest?

Potangina lang dahil yumuko siya sa harap ko. Yumuko siya kasabay ng dahan-dahan niyang pagluhod sa lupa habang nasa harap niya ako at kausap.

"Mahal ko si Monty, Szaji. I love him so much that I don't care if I cheated on you with him," she said.

I scoffed. Napakuyom ako ng mga kamao ko dahil sa narinig kong sagot niya.

Is it what love means? Betraying people so you can love deliberately? Because if it is, should I do it? Should I betray the woman who I love instead?

"Then fucking go and be with him, Amore." I uttered emotionless before walking away.

Umalis ako ng bahay at mabilis na nagmaneho papunta ng club. I wanted to be wasted. I wanted to kill myself by drinking just to forget her for a while. I fucking did all the things that I could but all I got was them, betraying me.

I gave Angelo a call and told him I'm going to a club located in Makati. Pinatay ko rin ang tawag matapos kong sabihin 'yon sa kanya.

Galit ako. Galit na galit ako dahil kay Amore ngayon. But damn man, I'm still thinking of forgiving her so I can have her again.

Pumasok ako sa club na may sumasayaw na mga babae sa intablado. They were only wearing panties and thin cloth to cover their bodies. But none of them got me.

It didn't take long until Angelo arrived at the club. I was sitting on the last row on the last table. Kaya hindi na rin siya nahirapang hanapin ako. Nang makaupo siya ay agad din siyang humingi ng alak.

"What happened, Szaji?" he asked me.

Tumitig lang ako sa harap at pinukos ang mga mata sa mga babaing sumasayaw. Dumating ang alak na hiningi niya kaya agad akong naglagay sa baso ko at nilagok 'yon.

"She's pregnant so she ended it," sagot ko lamang.

"What the fuck?!"

Gulat na tanong sa akin ng kaibigan ko. I only shrugged my shoulder and poured my glass a liquor before drinking it in a gulped.