Always been you - Damiano David

49 - heartache

As I inhaled the smoke deep into my lungs I heard my phone buzzing. I picked it up and read the caller id on the screen. Hazel.
I was surprised but happy to hear from her.
"Hello" I said.
"Oh Olivia, I've been trying to reach you" She said.
"Hazel, I'm sorry it's just been a lot lately" I answered.
"No, no I totally get it" She said.
"Yeah" I chuckled.
"How are you?" She asked.
"I think I'm fine, actually, I don't know it's unsure, how about you?" I told her.
"I'm good, just worrying for you" She said.
"That's sweet of you"
"You know my heart dropped when I read that text" She admitted. "I can't even imagine your reaction"
"It felt surreal at first, so I just turned completely silent, then it kind of hit me and I just cried until I was all out of tears" I told her.
"Wow.." She said. "I hate to ask but I feel like I have to, is anything of it true?" She asked. I could tell that asking made her uncomfortable.
"It's okay, barely anything is true" I told her.
"What's true?" She asked.
"What do you think is true?" I asked, I couldn't help but laugh a little.
"The make out thing?" She asked, echoing my laughter.
"How did you know?" I bursted out laughing.
"Oh my god you're crazy" She laughed. I had to chip for air to not choke on my laughter.
It felt like a relief to be able to laugh about it all, so I let it all out. I sat there on my parents porch in the middle of the night, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other, laughing so hard that I might wake the entire neighborhood.

"Do you regret it?" She asked after a while.
"That we kissed?" I asked.
"Yeah" She said curious.
"I mean I regret that she knows, and that the world knows, but I don't regret that I did it, it was a good kiss" I said. "It was kinda fun actually" I admitted.
I could hear her sweet laughter in my ear.
"I get that, I honestly don't see anything wrong with it" She said.
"Me either" I agreed. "Although I have to admit that it maybe wasn't the smartest thing to do it again"
"Yeah maybe not" She said agreeing.
"I mean I wouldn't do that to Damiano if he were in Sophia's position.." I started.
"No wait I probably would" I admitted, we both bursted out laughing.
"You did kiss Blake.. and Tom" She said, referring to our game night many weeks ago.
"Yeahh well that didn't make him thrilled exactly" I laughed.
"Yeah maybe not" She joined my laughter. "You know he talks about you all the time" She said.
"Blake?" I asked.
"Mhm" She answered.
"Tell him I miss him" I said.
"I will"
"We're talking about suing" I said, a bit sudden perhaps.
"Really?" She asked surprised.
"Do you think that's stupid?" I asked.
"No, no not at all, I think it's really smart actually" She said.
"Yeah me too, nothings really decided yet, they're talking to lawyers and stuff, but you know" I said.
"Yeah I get it" She answered. "Are you with the others right now?"
"No, I'm actually at my parents house" I told her.
"Don't they live in Austria?" She asked, a bit confused.
"Exactly, I'm sitting at their porch in Vienna, I've never been here before"
"What? You've never been to your parents house?" She asked.
"I grew up in Rome, me and my parents never got along and when I graduated they bought me and Vic an apartment in Rome, then they both conveniently enough got offered jobs here in Vienna, we've barely spoken since" I explained.
"Oh, then how come you're there now?" She asked.
"I don't know really, I decided that it would be nice to get away from it all and so I called mamma a few days ago and now I'm here, it's been going pretty well actually" I said.
"I'm happy for you" She said.

"What about tour?" She asked after we'd talked about my parents for a while.
"I think it's still on" I said.
"That's great news, so you'll still come to Rotterdam?" She said, I could hear the excitement growing in her voice.
"Yes" I smiled. "I can't wait to see you, I miss you all so much" I said.
"We miss you too, July 26th, right?" She said.
"Right" I smiled.

We talked until 1 am, I felt like I haven't had a conversation like that in forever. It was freeing in a way to have a real talk with someone who understands. My heart ached from how much I missed her.
Half a pack of cigarettes later I decided to go to sleep. I quickly brushed my teeth and removed my makeup before laying down in the freshly made bed. I fell asleep fast.