Always been you - Damiano David

78 - dream of me

I could feel his heart beating in his chest, I loved listening to it as I drifted to sleep.
I could feel his hand on my back, stroking it up and down. I could hear his deep breaths.
I could even smell him.

I opened my eyes to a dark room. Ethan was sleeping next to me.
Immediately sadness washed over me, because the smell wasn't Ethan's, nor Colin's.
Tears formed in my eyes, I didn't even know why but they were running down my cheeks endlessly. I started sobbing into my pillow. I didn't want to bother Ethan, but I really couldn't help it. I cried so hard that I had to gasp for air. I felt so suffocated and empty at the same time.
Missing him came in waves, and this made me feel like a tiny sailboat on a stormy ocean.

"Liv?" Ethan suddenly spoke confused. I couldn't get any words out, just tears.
"Liv, what's going on?" He asked in a sleepy voice. He pulled me closer to him and brushed my hair out of my face.
"I dreamt of him" I told him as I wiped my own tears.
"Your dad?" He asked confused.
I shook my head. "Damiano" I whispered.
"It felt so real, like he was right here" I said, my voice broke from my tears.
"Oh" Ethan said quietly. I could tell he didn't really know what to do.
"Oh honey I'm so sorry" He said and stroked my arm. I cried silently against his chest. He placed a kiss on the top of my head and continued stroking my arm until I eventually fell back asleep.

We were both pretty quiet the next day. He helped me pack the last things before we left for the airport. Usually I would vlog when I travelled since I knew my followers liked that, but this time I left my camera at home.

I kept myself busy during the flight by throwing myself into work. It made me worry and overthink less.

...
Ethan placed his hand on my lower back as we walked through the hospital corridor in Vienna.
"Are you alright?" He asked me.
I nodded hastily.
I've never liked hospitals, they were too bright and made me anxious. As we walked quickly through the corridor I looked into the rooms. I saw sick people, sad people and happy people.
I feared what I was about to see as I saw my dads patient room.
I took a deep breath before walking in, followed by Ethan.

"Olivia!" My mom exclaimed happily as I entered the room. She stood up from the chair she was sitting in and reached her arms out for me.
"Oh sweetie you came" She said excited.
I didn't accept her embrace. There was no way I would hug her and pretend like everything is fine.
"Hi mamma" I said awkwardly.
"And you brought Ethan, how nice" She said surprised.
"Hello, mrs Darcy, nice to see you" Ethan spoke politely. They both greeted each other by placing kisses on both cheeks. I walked past them and approached the hospital bed that my dad was lying in. He looked paler than usual. His eyes were glossy and empty. I could feel my heart sink.

"Hi Liv" Dad said. His voice was weak.
"Hey dad" I said to him. "How are you?" I asked.
"I've been better" He said.
I just nodded. I wasn't quite sure what to say.

My mom explained what the doctors had said, I didn't understand all the latin terms she was using, but from I got he at least wasn't dying.

A while later Ethan went to get us some coffee. Me and mom were sitting next to each other in the chairs, each flipping through a magazine. My dad was sleeping.

"So how come you didn't bring Damiano?" She broke the silence.
"You would just love that wouldn't you?" I muttered annoyed.
"I thought you would" She said.
I sighed.
"We broke up" I told her. I'd decided that it would be easier to tell her, so I wouldn't have to make up lies all the time.
"What?" She said surprised. She put her magazine away and turned to look at me.
"Oh don't act surprised, what do you want to hear? You called it mom. He broke my heart. Again. " I said to her.
"Honey I'm so sorry, I know how much you loved him" She said and put her arm around my shoulders.
"Yeah well it's for the best, plus I'm seeing someone new" I told her.
"Oh" She said surprised. "Wait" She said, almost in shock. "Is it Ethan?" She asked. I had to chuckle.
"No mom, it isn't Ethan" I assured her.
"Well that's a shame, Ethan is a nice young man" She said.
"Well so is Colin" I told her.
"Tell me more about this Colin" She said excited. Frankly, she was the only one who wanted to hear more about him. Ethan, Vic and Thomas tried to hide it but I knew how they felt about him. And well Damiano didn't even try to hide it.
"He's American, a neurosurgeon, he's very funny, I think you'd get along" I said. I could see her eyes widening as I mentioned the part about him being a doctor.
"I think I would" She agreed.
"I mean it's still very early" I explained. "But it's just easy with him"
"I think that's great sweetie" She said to me.