Always been you - Damiano David

85 - not fair

I felt sick as I entered the apartment. Then I remembered that I had to take care of Kitty. I hoped that she had been alright all night.
She was lying on my bedroom floor, she was still too small to get up on any furniture.
"Hey honey" I said to her and picked her up.
"Look what I got for you" I said and showed her the tattoo. I obviously knew that she didn't understand any of it, but I still wanted to show her. She just meowed, I took that as approval.
I filled up her food and water bowls and made sure she had everything she'd need.

After that I closed all my blinds and went to bed. I was absolutely exhausted.

I didn't know how many hours that had passed when I heard a knock on the door.
"Yeah?" I called out confused.
Colin opened the door. I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming or not. Everything was so hazy and dark.
"Olivia, are you sleeping?" He asked as he approached me. God, my head was beating so loud.
"No I'm not" I said, but my yawn exposed my lie.
I expected him to laugh, or even a slight chuckle, but instead he sighed.
I groaned and rubbed my eyes as he opened the blinds.
"You're still wearing last night dress?" He said.
"I am?" I said confused and looked down at my dress. I sighed annoyed as I realized that I was still wearing my makeup too.
I just wanted to lay in my bed in my pajamas all day. The last thing I needed was for Colin to judge my every move. I didn't even want to get started on the tattoos.
"Have you been sleeping since I last saw you?" He asked me.
I shook my head as I sat up in the bed. Without realizing my arm slipped up from under the cover, exposing the inked words covered by plastic wrap.
"What's that?" He asked and quickly pulled my arm towards him. I didn't answer him.
"You got a tattoo? When?" He suddenly raised his voice at me. I couldn't believe him, he was talking to me like I was his daughter, not his girlfriend.
"After you left, I got three" I told him.
"What? What are the other two?" He asked and started to pull on my body to try and see the tattoos. I didn't want him to touch me.
"I got a kitten and a pair of angel wings" I said and pulled myself out of his grip to stand up and take my dress off.
"You didn't think that tramp stamp you got was enough? You needed to go out in the middle of the night, while you were drunk might I add, and get more slutty tattoos?" He started yelling at me. Was he really starting a fight right now? I was tired. But not tired enough to take his shit.
"Excuse me?" I said.
"You know I can't believe how irresponsible you are, and frankly, it's not fair" He continued his yelling.
"It's not fair how I just did a twelve hour surgery, I stood for twelve consecutive hours and saved a guys life, you spent those hours getting tattoos, and getting wasted and sleeping, yet you still make more than I'll ever dream of, it's not fair!"
Was he actually kidding me?
"Am I supposed to apologize for making more money than you?" I asked shocked.
"It's like you live in some immature fantasy world, you need to grow up" He told me.
"You know what maybe I do need to grow up, maybe it's because I was just a teenager and you're almost 30, maybe that's why I'm so immature" I said.
"Don't act like you have a problem with the age thing all of a sudden" He snapped back at me.
"It becomes a problem when you treat me like a child" I told him.
"Oh come on I don't treat you like a child" He rolled his eyes dramatically. Everything he ever did that had irritated me rushed up to the surface.
"Yes, you do, honestly what makes you think that you can come into my home and criticize everything about me? I don't need your approval" I was beyond furious.
"I can't believe how spoiled you are" He said and walked out of my room and left my apartment.

I was relieved he left to be honest, but I still sank down and sat on the floor, with my back leaning against my bed. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs.
I felt sick. It was a combination of so many things, I was violently hungover, I had been up all night, my body ached from the tattoos, I hadn't eaten anything for more than 24 hours, and on top of that Colin probably hated me.

I sat there on my floor for a few minutes before I decided to go and see if Vic was home. I looked around the apartment only to realize she was nowhere to be found.
I decided to text her and ask where she was.
After a while she answered that she was at an interview. I sighed and threw my phone on the couch, because it meant that Ethan, Thomas and Damiano were also busy.

I felt so lonely, maybe Colin was right, what was the point of having this big apartment when I was all alone in it. What once had felt luxurious and spacious just felt hollow and empty now. I looked out over the table of presents. It was overflowing with gifts, I hadn't even opened everything but I couldn't even imagine how much money was lying on that table. It was all materialistic things. I didn't care for any of it. Would this really be my legacy if I died? 200 pairs of shoes and more makeup than I would ever use.
Honestly who would even care if I died? I mean people would post pitying Instagram posts and claim me to be their best friend, but everyone would get over it pretty quick. A week and I'd be a long lost memory.

The tears fell down my cheeks endlessly. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed loudly. Every sob tore on my heart. I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe. I was all alone.
I was so sick of it. I was sick of crying all the time, I was sick of the everlasting pain on my heart that I felt every second of any day. I was sick of missing Damiano. I missed the smell of him, the way his skin felt against mine and how he made me feel.

I got up and rushed to the bathroom. I needed something to take the pain away. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out the jars with the strongest pills. I had no idea what I took. I just wanted to stop the hurt.

The next minutes everything moved in slow motion. I felt delirious and dizzy, it almost felt like I was on the very edge to black out from alcohol, but only a hundred times worse. I felt like my heart was beating in my entire body, but it was beating unbearably slow. I tried to take deep breaths but it felt so shallow. And then everything turned silent and completely black. Like someone had pressed the off button of my life. The last thing I remembered was my head hitting the floor.

My eyes fluttered open to bright light. I didn't know where I was or what had happened. Everything was so white, I had to squint my eyes to adjust to the light. I realized I was lying down and looked up to the ceiling. It was white and had a big light in the middle.
I felt so strange, my body felt weird.
"Miss Darcy, you're awake" Someone said. I didn't know who it was until I saw a woman wearing light blue scrubs standing close to me.
"Wha- where?" I asked her confused.
"You're in the hospital, you had an overdose" She explained to me in a kind voice. I didn't worry about myself, my thoughts went to one person.
"Damiano" I mumbled. "Where is Damiano?" I asked. I wanted to know if he was okay.
"You have some friends waiting for you outside, do you want me to go check with them?" The nurse asked me.
"Get Damiano" I whined needy.
"Okay, I'll get him" She said and walked out of the room.
I looked around the room. I was lying in a hospital bed wearing a hospital gown. I looked down at my legs. They looked thinner than I remembered them to be. They looked fragile. The room wasn't big. It had a window to my right and a tv on the wall facing me. Next to me there was a chair and a bunch of monitors.
There was no color whatsoever.

...

Okay probably not what any of you expected 🫣🫣