Our Last Moments

Chapter 17

Cammie POV

I wake up with Zach gently sliding out from under my head to throw up into the trashcan beside his bed... Our bed... His bed...Ugh I don't even know anymore. Once he is finished Zach sits back up and groans.

"This absolutely sucks" he mumbles.

"Agreed"

"how long did the doctor say that this would last?" he asks.

"I don't even want to think about that doctor" I grumble.

"Why?" he asks.

"Why do you think?" I retaliate.

"I really don't know" he says cluelessly.

"Let's see maybe because I had to strip down to my underwear in front of a random doctor when I don't even let you see me like that" I say, closing my eyes when a wave of nausea hits. Why in the world did Zach have to see me like that? Why? Is it not enough that I have to deal with being just over 100 pounds at 5'8"? Why does he have to see it too? It's only a matter of time before he realizes how much better he is than me. I feel like something happens every day that makes me feel like this. I was meant to have more time to gain some weight before something like this happened.

"You know I didn't see anything right?" He asks.

"bullshit"

"No I'm not lying, I swear, I didn't look" he says with a look of sincerity and I know that he's telling the truth.

"I love you" I feel the need to say suddenly, as if if I don't say it, then he will disappear.

"I love you too Gallagher girl" he says with a smirk. "Hey you know I was thinking" he starts

"About what?"

"About the ball last year. What happened to you that made you run away from me?"

"Excuse me?" Is this the virus talking?

"You know, that night that you looked stunning in that red dress and then you ran away from me mid-dance. I just thought that you were trying to get away from me" he lowers his head "but now, I realized that maybe there was something seriously wrong...so? What ? happened?"

"My bra came undone and started falling down, and then my dress started to slide" I confess to the boy who I forget I've only known since last year. It sure took enough time to tell him. That was almost a year ago. He lets out a loud laugh and looks at me with what could only be described as mix between cheekiness and adoration.

"you do realize that I would have picked it up and teased you mercilessly if that fell out of your dress right?" he asks, still laughing.

"No kidding, why do you think I ran away?"

"No actually, I lied, I would have covered you and helped you out if you had told me"

"why?" I ask at this new revelation.

"Because I think I fell in love with you the day the day that I asked to kiss you in town Cam, and no way would I let you be humiliated like that, or let any other guy see that" I sit up sightly and give him a small kiss, not wanting it to become something more right now because I was afraid I would be sick all over him.

"You don't have to lie to me anymore Zach" I say, finally letting out the thoughts that I have kept in for so long.

"What?" he says softly.

"I know that you only wanted to kiss me that day because Josh was right there"

"ah Jimmy" he says with a smirk.

"You're not denying it" I point out, feeling a pang of disappointment. I had hoped that he would put this year old suspicion to rest.

"No, I'm not. But it wasn't exactly like that. I guess that I just kept finding excuses to stop me from kissing you, because I was too scared to, but in that moment, I don't know, I kind of just realized that there were no excuses" I simply smile up at him and snuggle into his chest. We stay in comfortable silence for a minute or so before I ask him another question about the ball.

"You know, since we're talking about the ball, I have a question for you"

"Oh yeah?" he looks at me with a sheepish grin. "Is it about how devastatingly handsome I looked?" his grin pulls into a smirk.

"No you idiot, although I won't deny that" I try to think of how to phrase my question.

"Zach, why did you deny that you were with me when the Code Black went off to everybody" his smirk falls.

"I don't know"

"Yes you do" I whine. "And I'd like to know. I think I've waited long enough"

"I want to tell you, but I can't Gallagher girl"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I can't okay"

"Why?" I push further.

"Because it's top secret CIA information Cammie!" he says, his voice full of agitation. "I can't tell you okay, would you just leave it at that? I don't want to start a fight right now" he pleads.

"I'm exhausted, and you should probably try to sleep too" I respond, avoiding answering. I know that I'm being immature but I just can't stand more secrets piling up between us.

"Okay" he says quietly and I feel his frustration even without any words.

When I wake up a few hours later, I've decided that I just have to let go this one act of secrecy. It's not his fault after all, I wouldn't want him to risk his budding career by telling me something that's confidential. Being in a relationship with someone in our world is hard enough as it is with our demanding schedules, but another difficulty is that you're raised to be good liars, and for something like this to work, there has to be trust.

I trust him, I do.

It's just too easy for someone like him to screw someone over. And that is what I need to get over. I need to really believe myself when I say that he loves me. That he won't hurt me. But it's hard, it always will be. Zach isn't some mediocre spy who I'd be onto in a second. In a way I'm the only one who can understand him, but even I find it hard sometimes.

Once he wakes up I just let the words spill out of my mouth before I have a chance to overthink them again.

"I trust you Zach. I really do."

"You should" he says pecking my lips softly. And that was that. That was all that I needed to say and all that he needed to hear.

A/N: sorry for the short update guys...But I wanted to get this chapter out. I know it's not a good excuse but exams are coming up and I'm in the last three weeks of school so I'm super duper busy and slightly sleep deprived tbh. Anyway, thanks to @orcarock for pushing me to finish this chapter.

I have a plan for this story, so I've been writing a lot of chapters ahead of time so once we get to that point updates should be more frequent, AND I'll be done with school so I'll have more time hopefully....

Anyways, I love you guys so much, thanks for reading!!

XOXO

P.S. please please please vote and comment...ily