Our Last Moments

Chapter 25

I feel so bad for Cammie...I'm a terrible person it just keeps getting worse and worse...

I don't speak to Zach again after our little encounter on my jogging path for several days. But as far as I'm concerned, I called it first. I started using it before him so he can go find another running path, because I do not want to see him again during my time to think.

Every day seems the same now. I wake up, I run, I go to class, I do insane amounts of studying, then I attach myself to the contraption that Liz made me to monitor my attacks, now that Zach's gone, and then I sleep. But I don't really sleep. I get nightmare after nightmare, or I get cute visions of Zach and I. But it's all a nightmare to me. I can't deal with any of it. I'd rather have the nightmares at this point. It would hurt less. I'm just glad that I haven't gotten any attacks since the breakup, because then I don't know what I'd do. We'd be screwed for sure, because only Zach can stop those and I won't let him touch me ever again. I'm surprised that I'm holding it together, really. I refuse to let myself break down in front of anyone anymore. I just hate being so weak. I have been all year, but when things are finally getting better, then things take a turn for the worse again, and all the attention is on me. Just my luck, I guess.

I walk into the dining room for lunch, with my personal bodyguards by my side the entire time, treating our meal times like a real misson. The dining hall is like a crowded public area and they need to find the target before he wreaks havoc. It's ironic, really. We thought we'd have a few months before doing this full time, but I guess not. The 5 of us sit down at our usual spots when I hear an all too familiar voice next to me. I guess no one spotted him fast enough. But I can't blame them, I can't expect them to sacrifice their free time just to keep him away.

"Hey can we talk?" he asks me as I sit there ignoring him in the dining hall. Grant rises but I put a hand on his arm, letting him know that it's okay. I can handle this myself.

"There's nothing to talk about" I say through gritted teeth, not looking at him. I can't break now. I can't. I've come too far.

"Please" he begs.

"I have nothing to say to you Zach" I spit back.

"Please Cam. I don't even remember what happened that night"

"I wish I didn't either" I say bitterly.

"Please will you just tell me what happened"

"Fine" I say, needing to finish this once and for all. "Let's go" I say storming out of the dining hall and into a side hallway. I cannot break. I chant to myself. I will not let him see what he's done to me.
Once we are out of earshot from the dining hall he says

"Cam-"

"No you don't get to talk, I came out here to do one thing and one thing only which is to tell you what you said to me so you understand once and for all that it's over" he nods silently.

"Okay well how about we start with the fact that I'm a 'fucking slut who got herself pregnant on purpose so that she could chain you down'" I start and Zach looks at me in horror.

"I-"

"No that's not even the half of it Zach. What about how I'm an ugly whore who didn't deserve to be with you or that you don't know why you ever wasted your time on me. What about how I'm a whore with way too much emotional baggage who wasn't even a good lay. Do I need to keep going?"

"Cam I didn't mean any of that"

"No Zach, a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts, and you made it pretty clear what you think"