𝑏𝑟𝑢𝑡𝑎𝑙 [𝒍𝒓𝒉,𝒄𝒕𝒉]

ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ-ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ - ʟᴜᴋᴇ - ʙᴇɴᴢᴏᴅɪᴀᴢᴇᴘɪɴᴇꜱ

song of the chapter:

paranoid - palaye royale

23 | Luke | Benzodiazepines

Wednesday

"Can you believe, they actually took my phone away? And cigarettes", Calum complained. He was hanging with his head turned down off Luke's bed, while the blond boy next to him held one of his guitars in his hand, trying to write a new song.

"I mean to be fair, you did get suspended", Luke pointed out. He played a few chords right after each other and repeated the pattern over and over again. "Hey, do you think this sounds good?"

"Well yeah, but come on, it's been more than twenty four hours, I'm not a child anymore" Calum turned around. A wave of dizziness hit him from the sudden move. "Maybe change the D chord to an G chord."

Luke followed his friend's advice and repeated the new snippet, to find out that Calum was right, a G chord sounded a lot better. "You're sure about that?", Luke teased him, with a big smirk on his face. "You're kinda acting like a child right now."

"Hey!", Calum defended himself, raising an arm, "whose side are you on?"

Playfully he crossed his arms in front of his chest while pouting. He really struggled with forcing his lips to be turned down, as he was just purposely proving Luke's point.

"See?", the blond boy chuckled.

Calum liked Luke's chuckle a lot. He was still in a lot of awe when he looked at him and it still made his heart take a jump whenever he saw Luke smile.

But Calum was starting to let go of his crush. At least he was trying to and it had been going alright so far. He and Luke had been friends for quite a long time and during that time he hadn't only started liking Luke, he truly loved him.

And that meant that he would always feel lighter around his heart, whenever Luke laughed, it meant that he would always want to see him happy, even if it wouldn't be with him.

Luke was straight for all Calum knew, which was already the first barrier, keeping the crush from growing into something more. It just wasn't possible for Luke to ever feel like that about Calum. Calum knew about that and in a way it helped him to get over it, although it hurt.

Secondly, even if Luke was interested in guys, he meant too much to Calum to risk their friendship for a silly little crush. It was nonsense. If he had told him and he wouldn't reciprocate those feelings, their whole dynamic would change and that was the least thing Calum would ever want to.

On top of all, although Calum was aware of his crush, he hadn't really allowed it from the beginning. The thought of him having a crush on his best friend made him physically cringe. He was too proud to accept it.