Forgiveness

chapter 16

"I don't care what Mick told you. He is my son and I am taking him with him."I snapped as I pushed my way into the house.

"Stevie,calm down. Mick mention you were upset and to leave Jess here until he gets here."She glare at me as I strom over to Jess sleeping on the sofa.

"I am not leaving here without my son. And as for Mick you can tell him to piss off and we're through."I harshly said as I picked up Jess gently along with his backpack. She frowns.

"Mommy."he sleepily said as I hold him in my arms.

"Ssssh baby,Mommy here."I whispered softly as I kissed him on top of his head and he bruised his face in crack of my neck and whapped his arms around me.

"Stevie, I don't know what is going on with you two but I thinks it best if you wait here for Mick."She scowl as I walked to the first door and opened it.

"Just tell him to talk to my lawyer."I glare over shoulder at her.

"Don't you think you're overrated here Stevie. All Mick has ever done was tried to help you and this is how you work it out by divorcing him without talking first."she grimace with her hands on her hips.

"Help me ha. All Mick has done is use, control and take advantage of my state of mind. You know nothing about what you're son has done to me so please just save the Mick praising for him."I mocked as she sighed deeply. As I recall the nightmare Mick put me through all those years. I still can't get over the fact Mick could do this do me

"Stevie."She yelled as I left and drove off. I wasn't about to stand there and listen to her anymore about Mick.

As I arrive home I put Jess in his bed and he drift off back to sleep and kissed his forehead. I changed into to more comfortable clothes and I went downstairs. As I got down to the last step there was a knock at the door. I sighed as I wasn't in the mood to chat.

"Look who ever you are it's late and I am not in the mood."I snapped as said it through the door.

"Stevie, it's me Lindsey open up please."he said loudly through the door and exhale sharply and opened the door for him.

"What do you want Lindsey, like I said I am not in the mood for chatting so please go."I raspy said trying to steady voice.

"Steph."He softy said as he opened his arms for me.

"Oh Lindsey,I am so so very sorry. I never wanted you to find out this way."I softy said with a whimper as I walked right into his arms.

"I know."he whispered softly as he kissed the top of my head.

"Is Mick here."he asked after about a few minutes.

"No."I snuffle as I pulled away from him.

"Stevie,why didn't you tell me."he asked as I lead us into the living room.

"I was going to tell you but everytime I tried to I would just get more afraid. I know saying sorry doesn't help much but I am truly sorry and hate myself more everyday for not telling you when I had so many changes too."I said as the words leaving my mouth stumbled out.

"It doesn't help much but I will accept it for now. But tell me please Stevie why Mick."He sadly asked. I felt a bit of relief but I will never forgive myself for I've done to Lindsey and my daughter. I took a deep breath and exhale out slowly.

"At the time I believed every word he said to me. But you have to understand Lindsey,I was became so dependent on him and not to mention the cocaine and he knew this. So he used it along with my fear and weakness to control me and made me feel like I was better off or like a wasn't good enough to be mother because of my drugs and my career. He told me couldn't have my music and go on the road with a baby and that you would regret being with me and having a kid with me. He promise me he was the only one who could make my music career happen. I was the fool who believe him and I am paying the price for it."I sadly said as he frown deeply with a long sighe.