The Way He Looked At Her

Thinking about Jax..

  I heard my phone beep. It was time to wake up. I woke up to myself crying. I was crying because I had a great dream about Jax and I being together but when I woke up I knew it was a dream.

   I just wish it was real. I already miss him it hasn't even been a full day yet. I need to forget Jax. That is going to be the hardest thing to do in my life. 

   This is because Jax was there my whole life. It is like forgetting my whole life. It was the best times and Jax was there for them all. I got out of bed and started to get ready.

   I took a shower and put on a dark pink long sleeved top and blue booty shorts. After I was done getting ready I got my back pack and headed out to my car and drove to school. When I got there it was weird because Jax was always with me. I shouldn't even say his name. 

  It's just so hard having someone that has been in your life, your whole life but because he wanted to keep you "safe" he leaves you with not a other word. It really hurts. I just wish, one time in my life it made sense. Nothing in my life was easy.

   I have been hurt all my life and Jax was there to numb my pain. He was always there. That is why I'm in my worst right now because my numbness pro traded me. But now I need to find a new numbness to help me get threw this.

  I walked to my locker and I get the stuff I need for 1st period, as then I walk to class forgetting that I had this class with Jax. To make it even worse we are right next to each other. Great, this day keeps getting better and better. When I walked in the class I saw the smile and cheap men spray smell I've been trying to forget.

   As it was him. With his leather jacket, his plan white shirt. His blue jeans barely covering his butt because he thinks it's cool. Which I never thought it was. 

   His white Nike's he always had. His long blonde hair he was holding back behind his ears. His blue eyes that always cause me to lose my focus anywhere I go. His smile seemed like he was happy to see me.

   It hurts. It really does. When I try to sit down and try not to lose it, I seen him in the left side on me. He looks up at me and he starts to talk. 

  "Hey there Em, I really missed you. " He said as he looked at me up and down like it has been years since we seen each other. But it was only been a night. I just looked at him confused and he laughs. 

  I look at him one last time then put my body in front of the desk. Then put my head down on the desk to try not to cry again. This is goes to a good start Em, really good start. Really is.