The Way He Looked At Her

Losing sleep.

I went home after all that stuff happened with Gemma. I was getting ready for Jax. He should of been here a while ago. The more time that it's wasted then the more I can just lay on the couch waiting on him. I might just take a nap. Until he gets here. My eyes were starting to get heavy. As I layed on the couch. I couldn't help but close them and dream. Dream about the things that could help me not dream anymore. Because Jax. He is here on earth. With us. He is alive and like an idiot I'm sleeping. I guess I'll be able to repay him I guess. Not now but when I wake up. I felt like I was being lifted going somewhere. Hopefully it is just Jax. Because I don't know what i'm going to do if something would happen. I just want to dream. Maybe be here for awhile. Maybe more then I should because this stress and now knowing Jax is alive makes me want to sleep better I haven't really slept the past few years with all this stuff happening. Now that Jax is back maybe people will just leave me alone for once that would be great not Jax though. I don't want him to leave me alone after all of this. I just want him around. Because if not I wouldn't feel right. Knowing he is out there getting killed again I couldn't be the same. Not at all. I kept dreaming of Jax. Maybe he is okay. But in the dream he had a sad look on his face. He looked at me like I should back away. Maybe run. Because people were shooting at us and the people were the club. Probably wanting us to give up. I got my gun out of my back pocket and shot Gemma and Jax gave me a unforgiving face. He went and shot me on the chest. I layed there in pain not wanting to move. Wanting to do that is what I wanted. I just lay there in die. The pain was killing me it almost felt real. I lifted my finger up and pointed to my chest and felt the blood I was the redness on my finger. I just looked at my finger then at Jax. He give me a hateful look and shot me again. I then woke up from my dream.