The Way He Looked At Her

I don't want to live..

   I wish I seen Jax again after what happened that night. They let me get out of the hospital the next day. It was a Saturday so we didn't have school. I saw that my car wasn't there it was ether at home or towed. 

  I didn't care either way. Because I just wanted Jax back. I didn't understand why he did what he did. 

  He has to know I'll always love him. I walked home knowing my Mom would be asleep because it was 9am. I don't feel safe anymore. Without Jax I don't know how my life is going to be.

   I just don't. When I went home I saw my Mom laying on the couch in the living room. I just went back in my room. When I saw Jax and I in the pictures I took. 

  I took them down but I don't want to throw them away they mean a lot. It's just hurting me now but when I get stronger I will just think of it as a great memory of Jax and I. I put the pictures in a secret box I always had. I wanted to get in the shower maybe think about what am going to do with my life now. 

  I lost a very big part of it. I'll never get it back but I want to try. I want to try to see him again if it only meant in my dreams then so be it. I got some clothes and went in the shower not holding in the tears as I lay against the shower wall. 

  "Darling. Darling get up. " I heard the voice say. "Jax., Jax, is that you. " 

  " Only in your mind darling. " " But I want to see you. " " Only if you let me in your mind. " Then there appered Jax. 

  He had his blonde hair behind his ears with nothing on which kinda surprised me thinking like that but I am in the shower. " Hey there darling. " He said say he put his arms around me. I didn't feel him.

   I didn't feel the Jax. The real Jax. He left me before I could hold him in my arms again. I kept crying and the fake Jax got away.

   I need him. I need the real Jax the one I fell in love with. I want to see him before it's too late to save him or me.