The Way He Looked At Her

I lost my mind..

  I woke up to all of these wires on me I was about to get up but then I saw Jax. The poor thing has been here probably all day. I shouldn't wake him up so I just lay there like an idiot. I look back at the sleeping Jax. 

  I saw him move probably feeling like someone was watching him. I heard him move as I then close my eyes I don't want him to know I'm up yet. I felt a pair of lips on my head. I almost smiled but that would make him think I was awake. 

  I just wanted to make this last. I heard him talking to me but not knowing I would hear him. He was talking about why he broke up with me. Then how everyone was doing I was about to laugh at some of the things that were said but I stayed silent. He was saying how much he misses me and how I should be with him but can't wait forever for him.

    As I heard him as I opened my eyes as I wanted to see him. For him to know that I'm awake. I almost talked but was quiet. As he kissed my lips this time.

    It took all of me not to kiss him back. He was so sad I guess he thought something was really wrong with me. Because he held my hand really tight. I almost held it back. 

  It sounded like he was crying then I felt tears go down my cheeks. He noticed and wiped his and mine off from our cheeks. " Em, Em, are you up? Can you hear me? 

   Em. I know you can hear me just come on wake up. Darling. Get up please. " He said as he held my hand really tight. 

  He was going somewhere because he let go of my hand and I felt him move out of the chair he was sitting in. I wanted to wake up but I just wanted to close them. I wanted to die now. Like this was the time to end it all.

   This life is to much to handle. I just want to be with Jax. Maybe for the rest of my life. He has to be the one.

   He was the one to end all of this hurt. He always was. But now here I am. Laying on a hospital bed in a gown. 

  Waiting for Jax to get back and feeling really numb. I heard nothing but the beeps in the machines then fell asleep with sadness.