The Way He Looked At Her

This can't be real..

I have been a wreck since I left the hospital. I don't get why Gemma would do such a thing to her own son. Now that is sick. To sick to even think about. It was 3am and I'm pretty sure my mom is up because she stays up till 6am. When I get to the door I saw that she saw me and turned the TV off. " Emma Marie Ross what were you doing coming home this late! " She said yelling at me. " Mom, please not right now. " I said trying not to scream back as I had tears flowing down. " Em, what's wrong why are you crying? " She said not yelling but not being calm ether. " When I got home today after being in the hospital - " " You were in the hospital? " Yes, because I had one of my attacks. " I said to her not trying to lose it. " Oh honey so sorry I wasn't there. " She said hugging me. " Who helped you? " She asked. " Jax." I said in tears. She let go of me " What is so bad about that? " She said as everything was okay. " Mom, after I came home to see if my car was here. I thought that Jax wanted to see me again because at the hospital he told me that he didn't want to see me again. So I wouldn't get more hurt then I was. The note I thought he left for me was really from Gemma and she knew the boys were doing some business she got me to think Jax wrote it so I went to the club. When the guys came back I went outside and I went to see Jax. Well, when I went outside a Mexican guy came at me and had a gun pointing at my head. Well Jax went to save me and he got shot. The club went and saved me. I went to the hospital with Jax and-" I started to sob so loud. She went and hugged me tight. " Mom, Jax is die. Gemma went and planed all of this. She killed Jax. She killed him Mom she killed him. " I said losing it now. " Mom he is gone. Jax is gone. I lost him Mom I lost him. " I said still being held in her waist. Mom didn't know what to say now. She was just holding me. She was so quiet I felt like I was just talking to myself. She finally spoke after a few minutes. " Em, Em, stop we don't need another episode shhhh calm down now honey. Calm down. " She said as she had her hands on my shoulder and was looking right at me. " I know Mom I just, I didn't want this to happen. I love him Mom. I love him. I love him so much. " I said still having the tears fall. I felt so alone now. I wanted to just to not be here anymore. But I don't want to do that to Jax. I'm only going to be alive because of him to live on till I'm old and gray but I'm always going to be his old lady no matter what.