Helpless

Out Of My Dreams

I had sent a text to Jen and she still hadn't responded. Usually, she would reply within a couple of minutes. And it had been over an hour. But she was visiting her family in Mexico. Maybe she was spending time with her grandparents and didn't have her cell phone on her.

She'll text you back. Relax.

I was tired. I hadn't slept all that well. I still felt a bit jetlagged. I hadn't slept alone in weeks. I hadn't even seen my own home in weeks. I would stop by to grab some clothes and things I needed, but for the most part, I always went home with Jen. It was almost as if I had moved in with her.

I missed her. I missed holding her at night. I missed our talks. I missed her body. Her scent. I missed making love to her. I had it bad for her. I was completely in love with that woman and somehow, the realization of that, didn't scare me. I was hers and she was mine. Completely.

"Johnny," I heard Jeff call out.

"Yeah?" I looked up, seeing him walk into my room.

"Let's go grab some dinner before the show," he smiled.

"I'm not that hungry," I laughed. "But maybe that will keep my mind busy."

"Ah, yes," Jeff laughed. "Jennifer. I've never seen you this happy, man."

"I miss her," I smiled.

"You'll see her soon," he patted my back. "And besides, you just saw her. It hasn't been that long. You'll survive!"

"Yeah, well," I laughed. "I've never felt this way before."

"Trust me," he smiled. "Everyone has noticed."

We both laughed and walked to one of Jeff's favorite restaurants. I checked my phone. No sign of Jen. Was she really that busy?

"Are you okay?" Jeff asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"You keep spacing out," Jeff responded, taking a sip from his drink. "What's wrong?"

"Oh," I frowned looking at my phone again. "I sent Jen a couple of texts and she hasn't responded yet."

"She's probably busy with her family," Jeff shrugged. "Didn't you mention she was visiting her grandparents?"

"Yeah," I took a sip of my drink. "But she's usually pretty good at texting back. And she hasn't."

"She'll text back," Jeff smiled.

I nodded and stayed silent.

But what if...she reunited with someone from her past? She was beautiful. I've seen how guys looked at her. Who could resist her? And I was much older than her. Was our relationship realistic? What if she realized that I wasn't the one for her?

"Okay," Jeff snapped me out of my thoughts yet again. "What is really going on?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"There's more than her not texting you back, is it?"

I sighed. "Yeah," I nodded. "I keep thinking that I'm a lot older than her. What if she realized I'm not the one for her?"

"Come on, man," Jeff sighed and shook his head. "That woman loves you. She has proven that time and time again. Don't let your past relationship cloud this one. You have a great thing going for you. She's the one. And I haven't even met her properly. She'll text you back. I am sure there's a perfectly logical explanation as to why she hasn't responded."

"You're right," I nodded. "But sometimes my mind just wanders off. And thinks stupid shit. I'll feel better when she texts me back."

"Good," Jeff smiled. "Let's finish up, we have a concert to perform."