Helpless

Tell It Like It Is

I wasn't sure what to wear. I knew it was just gonna be a guitar jam session with Johnny. But that was the problem. With Johnny. Johnny Depp. One of the most gorgeous human beings I have ever laid eyes on. Yes, I liked to look pretty and presentable. A trait that was passed down by both my grandmother and my mother. But normally, this would be effortless.
But this was anything but normal. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever dreamed of having the opportunity to play guitar alongside Johnny Depp. Life was insane.

I finally decided I would wear a nice lilac, sleeveless blouse with some dark jeans and my favorite booties. I wore my hair in a messy ponytail and did a neutral makeup look. Then I grabbed my guitar. I had been playing guitar since I was a kid. Always trying to imitate my dad and my grandfather. Playing guitar relaxed me. I would get lost for hours playing it and singing along to my favorite songs.

Johnny's place was about an hour away from where I lived. Maybe a little bit more with the LA traffic. One of the great things about not living in LA, was that I rarely worried about traffic.

As I neared his house, I sent him a quick text to let him know. A few seconds later, I recognized Sean, his bodyguard, as he waved me down. He opened the gate for me, and I drove inside. His house was bigger than mine. And it was a lot more secluded. But then, of course it was.

"There you are," I heard him say.

I looked up after placing my car keys inside my purse. "I made it on time."

"You did," he reached out to give me a hug. His hugs were always nothing short of amazing. I wanted to stay there, in his embrace. "Tim told me you were very punctual. That you get to the studio before he does."

"Remind me to have a talk with him." We both laughed.

I opened the back door of my car to grab my guitar. I heard Johnny whistle in admiration. "Is that your guitar?"

"Yeah," I smiled proudly. "My grandpa gave it to me a couple of years ago. He used to play it all the time when he recorded in the studio."

"It's a beauty," he said as he inspected it closely.

"Thanks."

We made our way inside his house. My first impression of it was that he loved art. His house wasn't flashy. It wasn't over the top. But I quickly catch on that he was a collector of art, momentous, and memorabilia.

"I was thinking of playing in the backyard or would you prefer to stay indoors?"

"The backyard sounds good," I said, still looking around.

"Alright," he smiled. "I hope you don't mind the mess."

"What mess? I was admiring the art you have," I said, finally looking at him. "The paintings are gorgeous."

"Oh, thanks," he sounded surprised. "Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"Water is fine," I smiled.

"I have some wine. A couple of bottles from different years."

"I'm okay, I really don't drink."

He arched an eyebrow and then nodded. "Water it is then."

"What would you like to play?" I asked him.

"Why don't you start it?" He offered with a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Go for it," he encouraged.

"Okay..." I was nervous. I was about to play for Johnny, and I was suddenly very self-conscious. I began to strum along to one of the first songs I learned to play on my own. And one of my favorites.

I tried so hard my dear to show that you're my every dream
Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme
A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold-cold heart?

I looked up to find Johnny staring right at me. He didn't say anything. He just stared. Did I come across as to showy? Did he not like the song? Did he not like my singing? Or my playing technique? I should have started with a different song. I internally face palmed myself.

"Are you a Hank Williams fan?" he finally asked.

"Yeah," I felt myself breathing again. "I have a couple of his albums on vinyl."

"I love Hank Williams," he said as he nodded and smiled. "Do you know I'm so Lonesome I could cry?"

"Of course, I do."

"Let's go for it. You and me," he said picking up his guitar.

I was ecstatic. Our strumming blended beautifully together. And Johnny's voice. Was there something this man couldn't do? He has a beautiful singing voice. I almost felt bad for singing along. Why on earth would anyone try to harmonize with that man when we could just sit there and listen to him sing?

We played for what seemed to me like half an hour but when we checked, we had been playing for over two hours. We laughed. Time flew and we couldn't believe how much fun this session had been. We talked about everything in between. Johnny seemed to be really interested in my upbringing and my family. But I didn't mind. If anyone would understand the unwanted fame I had to carry, it was him. I wasn't comfortable in the limelight either. I tried my best to live under the radar of the press. And would only grant very few interviews.

"We have a lot in common," he said drinking from his cup of water.

"It seems like we do," I smiled. "That's probably why we get along."

"I could never have the brain capacity for what you majored in. Law and science. That's...that's an interesting one. That's extremely impressive and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise."

Every time he would compliment me in anyway, I melted. I would catch him looking at me when I wasn't looking, and it made me feel shy. He had this crazy affect on me that I wasn't sure how to make any sense of it. All I knew is that I was completely comfortable with him. And he felt comfortable with me.

"Here, let me try to clean some of this up," I finally said. Johnny had insisted on us getting some food in between. We had eaten some of the best sushi I had ever tasted. I began to clean up the table when I felt Johnny's hand grab mine.

"Jen," he motioned me to sit back down. Why did he look nervous suddenly? Our eyes locked instantly. I felt him inch closer to me and I froze. I felt him cupping my face in his hands. He was going to kiss me. I felt his warm, sweet breath caressing my mouth. And then his lips crashed into mine. It felt like a time warp. Universes colliding. Was the world spinning? It didn't matter. I wanted to freeze time. Let it last forever, please.
When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes and said, "I've been wanting kiss you all day. I...you're just so beautiful. I feel so many things when I'm with you."