Helpless

In Your Eyes

The beach was about a five-minute drive. I had offered Jennifer a ride to the beach, but she declined. She said she felt better if she drove herself there and that way she could drive back home right after.

We met within a couple of minutes. The beach was almost empty.

"I told you it was gonna be empty," she said as she approached.

"I see," I smiled. "I haven't been to the beach in years. Over a decade, really."

"Do you not like the beach?"

"I do. I just...it's always busy."

She smiled as she took off her high heels.

"Are you okay walking barefoot?"

"Oh yeah," she said. "I do this all the time. I love to feel the connection with the beach. I love the feel of the sand between my toes."

We began to walk alongside the water. It was a beautiful summer night and the breeze felt heavenly. It was a unique experience for me. I never thought about walking down the beach. I only did so on my island. Where I was secluded from the world. The media. There, it was just me and my kids. And my friends. I didn't have to be the movie star. I could just be myself.

My bodyguard, Sean, followed behind. I had expected Jennifer to feel overwhelmed or weirded out by him following behind. But she seemed fine. She said she was used to it. I kept forgetting she grew up in a celebrity household. Bodyguards didn't intimidate her.

We talked about the movie and how she got to meet Tim. She was extremely committed to the film. We bonded over our families and our childhood experiences. With her, I knew she wasn't putting up a front. She wasn't painting a picture I wanted to see nor hear. It had been such a long time since I've had a real conversation with someone without them having ulterior motives.

"And that's when I decided to become a film producer," the sound of her voice interrupted my thoughts. She looked at me and then apologized. "I'm sorry, I hope I am not boring you to death with my life story."

"No, no," I responded. "I'm completely invested in your life story."

"You are?" she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah, I love the way your brain works," I smiled at her.

"Well, thank you," she said as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You know I was raised in a family with old school, Mexican beliefs, where women weren't allowed to have an education past junior high. My grandmother always tells me that I must keep it down because men don't like women with an education."

"Wow, yeah that's not true. She is from an older generation and all generations think differently. That's what makes us all unique."

"Agreed," she laughed.

Ever since I laid eyes on her I wanted to know if she was taken. I had no idea why. But I wanted to find out. This was my chance.
"I bet your boyfriend appreciates you."

"If I had a boyfriend," she responded with a hint of humor.

She was single. How? How was this woman single? Whatever the reason was, I felt like the luckiest guy on earth walking with her on that beach tonight. I liked her. I couldn't deny it any longer. I kept thinking about her even when I was at home. Before I went to bed. When I woke up. I couldn't get her out of my mind. And she's single.
But would she be interested in a man like me? She was a year younger than the witch I was previously married to. But she was everything she was not. Would someone like her even entertain the idea of being with a man like me? I was 24 years older than her...But I wanted her.

"Johnny?"

"Huh?" I responded as I looked at her.

"I was just saying that life can be complicated," she giggled. "Love alone is complicated."

"Yes, it is," I smiled. "I haven't been the luckiest in love."

"That makes two of us, then."

"I don't understand how that's possible," I responded. "Any guy would be lucky to have someone like you in their lives. It's their loss."

"Thank you, Johnny," she almost whispered it. My remark seemed to have touched her deeply. She was at a loss for words. I could tell. Just as I was about to say something, I felt water rushing down our feet.

"Oh my God," she laughed. She jumped a little bit and almost fell but I caught her. I looked down at her. We locked eyes. Those eyes, they were beautiful. Even while it was somewhat dark, those eyes almost glistened. They were gorgeous. She was gorgeous. And those lips. They were so full. I bet they tasted heavenly. This was my chance. Go for it, kiss her.

"Sorry," she finally said. "I just got caught off guard by the water."

She stepped back at bit, and I could have cursed myself. That was my opportunity and I missed it. Idiot!

"We should probably get going," she said.

"Yeah, yeah," I said breaking the trance I had been in seconds ago. "We probably should."

We walked back to our cars, and she turned around and gave me the biggest hug. Even her hugs had an intoxicating effect on me. I felt wanted. I felt drunk with happiness. I felt like I belonged there. With her. I felt safe.

"Thank you for inviting me," I said, rubbing her back. "I had an amazing night with you. Truly."

She stepped back and looked at me with a smile. "I did, too. I can't wait for our jam session tomorrow."

"Ah, yes," I chuckled. "That's going to be quite a night."

"I'll text you when I'm close by," she said. "See you tomorrow."

"Later, sweetheart."

I saw her get inside her car and drive away.