Helpless

Voices In My Head

I couldn't believe the paparazzi had taken a picture of one of the most intrusive moments in my life. A kiss that I had never asked for. Who the hell did Fernando think he was? I was livid. I turned around and ran out of the room and into the lobby. I needed to go back to my hotel room.

"Jenny," I heard Fernando call out from behind.

"Did you do that on purpose?" I asked, turning around to face him. "Because that was an asshole move on your part. How dare you? What the fuck were you thinking?"

He said nothing. He looked at me for a couple of seconds. "Look, Jenny," he began, running his hand through his hair. "You're right, I'm sorry. I was out of line, and you have my word that this will never happen again."

I was pissed. I wasn't sure if he was being sincere. Either way, I didn't care.

"Don't come near me ever again," I warned him. "I mean that."

I turned around and walked out of there and into my waiting car to take me back to the hotel. I prayed that Johnny wouldn't see the picture. I couldn't even imagine what he may do or think if he saw it.

Should I call him? Maybe test the waters. See if he has heard or seen anything.

I decided against it. It was late and I would be flying back to London in a couple of hours anyway. Whatever needed to happen could wait. I checked my phone again; he had sent me a text earlier. But nothing recently. I hoped that was a good sign.

The next morning, I woke up and got ready. I was gonna have breakfast with my parents and hang out with them until the evening, before I flew out back to London. I decided not to tell my parents what had happened and was relieved that they hadn't brought it up. Either they didn't know or if they did, they decided to not mention it.

I heard a text come in. It was Johnny. I was nervous to even open it. I prayed that he hadn't seen anything.
"I can't wait to see you tonight. I love you and miss you so much."

I let out a sigh of relief. From the sound of it, he hadn't seen anything. I would talk to him once we were alone. I had to tell him my side of the story before he heard it from anyone else.

Later that night, the plane landed back in London. Johnny wasn't there to greet me because he had a concert that night. I figured I would meet him backstage. I checked my phone, there was no texts from him. That was a little bit strange. But I pushed that thought aside, if he had heard anything, I'm sure he would have called me and asked.

Sean was there to pick me up. Johnny always trusted Sean to look after me. I loved Sean. He was easy going and we had built a good friendship outside of the professional side. I felt at ease whenever I was with him.

When we got into the arena, I went backstage but Johnny was no where to be found.

"Where is he?" I asked Joe.

"He's outside," he smiled. "He's signing some autographs for fans. You know how he is."

I smiled. Yes, I knew how he was. He adored his fans. When everyone had turned on him, his fans had remained loyal. And he always felt the need to give back to them. He loved them just as much as they loved him.

I decided to peek outside. I loved watching him interact with the fans. Sean and I walked outside, and I stood close enough to see, but out of sight from everyone else. I didn't want the press or anyone to take pictures and report them back to the media.

Just then, a young woman approached Johnny and gave him a kiss on the lips. Johnny looked surprised but smiled back at her. He didn't push her away. I knew he loved his fans but there were boundaries. What if it had been me? He would have lost his mind and would have reprimanded me for not pushing them away.