Helpless

Don't Fly Away

For the first time since this nightmare began, I was able to sleep that night. Maybe the alcohol had helped. I was beginning to feel hopeful for the first time. Jen was not dead. She was out there, somewhere. All we needed to do was find her and bring back home. The private investigators we had hired were some of the best and I hoped that we would get to her faster.

The next day, we all had breakfast together. I noticed that Lin-Manuel and Sean had gotten closer. They kept having a private conversation. One that I was clearly not included. And truthfully, I was too tired to even care. The only thing that mattered to me was Jen. I wanted her back. I wanted to hold her and never let her go.

When we find her, I will never let her out of my sight. No one will be allowed to talk to her without going through me. Ever.

I excused myself from the dinner table and decided to take a walk on the ranch. It was beautiful. It was big and it was peaceful. No wonder Jen loved it here so much. I imagined her walking through the ranch to clear her head or to just feel connected to the universe. Maybe this place gave her enough inspiration to achieve and conquer everything she had accomplished.

I approached the stables where Jen's grandfather kept his horses. Inside, one of the workers was about to walk out. "Buenos dias," I greeted him in my best Spanish.

"Buenos dias," he smiled. "My name is Jose. My dad and I are in charge of the stables."

"Oh," I laughed nervously. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you spoke English."

"Don't worry," he smiled. "Most of us speak English here. The family has helped the workers by sending their kids to get a good education. English was included. Thankfully."

"That's really kind of them," I smiled.

"This," he walked towards a golden palomino. "It's Jennifer's horse. Her baby."

It was a beautiful horse. It was almost as if it glowed.

"You can touch him," he nodded. "He's very gentle."

I got closed to it and began to stroke his neck. He was very gentle, as he seemingly didn't mind that I was invading his personal space.

"I have work waiting for me," he smiled. "You're more than welcome to stay. It was nice meeting you."

"Thank you," I nodded. "You too."

I turned to look at Jen's horse again and continued to stroke his neck. "I bet you miss her, too. I'm her boyfriend, you know." I smiled. "We'll have enough time to get to know each other."

"Talking to horses now?" I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to find Lin-Manuel standing there.

"I was just getting to know Jen's horse," I smiled.

"He's beautiful," he nodded. "I can never get myself to climb one of these...majestic creatures. Puerto Ricans aren't built like Mexicans, man."

We both laughed.

"Come on," he gave my shoulder a squeeze. "Let's go back in."

I nodded and followed him back into the house.

When we got there, the phone began to ring. We sat down in the living room to continue to await any sort of update. Once we realized no one was coming to us with an update, Lin-Manuel and I began to talk about our work. We were nearing the end of shooting for my movie. Tim and the rest of the cast would continuously send me texts to ask about any update on Jen. I was thankful that I had so much support from everyone during this time.

"Lin-Manuel, Johnny," Jen's grandfather said rushing towards us. "Everyone in the office. Now!"

Maybe there was an update after all. We almost rushed into the office to find Jen's dad on the phone. Tears streaming down his face.
Please let everything be okay.