Helpless

Emotions

After I finished my meeting, I decided to take a hot bath. I didn't want to admit it to Johnny, but I hadn't been feeling all that well. I hated being sick. I didn't have a fever. So, I knew it wasn't the dreaded flu. But it was a nasty cold, and I was determined to beat it.

Surprisingly enough, I didn't feel as tired as I thought I would. So, I decided to start on a new book I had bought online. I heard an incoming text and wondered if it was from Johnny. To my dismay, the message came from Alex.

What the hell does he want? And why on earth did I give him my number to begin with?

I was about to ignore the text message when I saw he had sent a picture. I opened the message, and my stomach sank. It was a picture of Johnny kissing Kate Moss. Kate Moss. The same woman Alex had warned me about the last time he had seen me. He had warned me about Johnny and Kate still having a relationship. Was he cheating on me? For how long?

I felt tears streaming down my face. This is what heartbreak feels like. I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Johnny, and his bodyguards arrive. I heard them say good night to each other and then I heard Johnny walking up the stairs. I immediately wiped the tears away from my face. I picked up my book and pretended to be reading.

"Hi, baby," I heard him say as he walked into my bedroom. "I'm back."

"Hi, how was it?" I smiled. I had to play it off. I couldn't confront him abruptly.

"It was so much fun," he said, sitting next to me. "It was a fantastic show. I wish you could have been there."

He couldn't mean that. Not after the picture I had just seen. I wanted to call him a liar. I wanted to scream at him. But I couldn't.

"Me, too." I responded with a sad smile. Ask him. Confront him. I reached out to grab my phone from my nightstand. "I wanted to ask you...can you explain this picture to me?"

He looked at me and then grabbed my phone. I expected his reaction to be different. He seemed shocked. Almost as if he had forgotten how to breathe. He looked at the picture for a second and then frowned. I couldn't hold it any longer, I felt the tears starting to form again. He then looked at me.

"This isn't what it looks like," he said softly. "We didn't kiss like this."

My heart was breaking. Tears began to fall down my face. I couldn't look at him any longer, so I looked down at my hands. I couldn't get myself to scream at him. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him. It was all pain. And heartache.

"Baby," he whispered, reaching out to me and grabbing my hands. "Don't, please. Don't cry. I swear to you that nothing is going on between Kate and me."

I tried to push him away but instead, I felt him cup my face in his hands.
"Look at me," he whispered. I nodded no and continued to look down. "Please, look at me." He gently raised my chin so that our eyes could meet. His eyes looked sad. But they seemed genuine. I searched for any hint to see if he was lying to me. But there was no hint of dishonesty.

"I would never cheat on you," he continued. "I would never break your heart. You're the only woman I want. I love you. This picture was taken in a bad angle with the intention of manipulating it into something it's not."

As he was telling me this, I began to remember what Alex had told me. You're not his type. Those words meant nothing when he had said them to me. But they shattered me tonight.

"Baby," he whispered. "Say something."

"I just," I trailed off. "What if I'm not your type?"

He looked at me and frowned. I could feel his gaze trying to search for an explanation. "My type? The only type I have is the woman sitting right in front of me. A woman that hasn't bitten my head off for such a stupid picture that was sent to her with the intention of being malicious. My type, and the only type I'm interested in is this gorgeous creature right in front of me. Who's a bad ass lawyer, scientist. And is crazy enough to be a movie producer as well. And it's even crazier enough to have fallen in love with this fucker. Me."

I laughed. And shook my head. You're an idiot, Jen. How could I have ever doubted him? Here he was with me. Not a stench of alcohol in his breath. Completely sober. With nothing but love in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I should have never doubted you."

"It's okay," he smiled before reaching out and kissing me. "I don't know what I would have done if I had gotten a picture of you kissing someone else. I wouldn't have taken it as well as you did."

"That won't ever happen," I smiled. "Because I only want you."

"Good," he smiled. He kissed my hand and then looked at me again. "Who sent you the picture?"

Dang. This wasn't going to go well.

"Alex," I almost whispered it.

He let out a sarcastic, pissed off laugh. "Of course, of fucking course!"

"Babe, just let it go," I responded. I didn't want him to be mad. "He's an idiot."

"Of course, he's a fucking idiot," he responded. "If I ever see that motherfucker anywhere near you, I will fucking punch him. He better stay the fuck away from us."

I felt my eyes almost bulge out of my face. But I said nothing. I just nodded and kept my eyes on him.

He then realized that he had allowed his feelings to get the best of him, so he grabbed my hands again. "Sorry, I hate idiots." We both laughed.

"Well, let's not let idiots gets the best of us," I smiled.

"Deal," he smiled.

He got ready for bed and laid down next to me. There was no better feeling that having my head rest on his chest. I wanted to stay there forever. My happy place.

"Jeff Beck invited me to play some gigs in the UK next week," I heard him whisper. "Come with me."

"I can't," I sighed. "I promised my grandparents I was going to visit them in Mexico next week. My grandpa is recovering from being hospitalized and I want to check up on him."

"For how long?" he asked.

"For a week, maybe two weeks."

"One week should be good enough," he responded quickly.

I laughed. "Babe, really?"

"I'm gone for a week, and you'll be gone for a week. And that's long enough for me to go crazy without seeing you."

"Well then maybe you can join me in Mexico, the following week," I laughed.

"I can do that," he chuckled. "Your grandpa sounds scarier than your dad."

"He's scary but he's harmless," I laughed. "I promise. He will love you."

"I hope so," he laughed.

"Also, don't forget my parents invited us to my dad's album release party tomorrow night," I said looking up at him.

"That's right," he smiled. "We'll be there."

"Good," I smiled.

"In the meantime," he glared at me. "Don't think I haven't noticed you being sick. You have tried to downplay your cold, but it hasn't worked."

"Oh my God," I whined, rolling my eyes at him.

"Roll your eyes away, baby," he responded. "Go to sleep. I need you to get better soon."

"You're such a grandma," I mumbled.

"I love you, too," he chuckled. "Now close those gorgeous eyes of yours and go to sleep. Come on!"

"Alright, alright," I giggled. "Good night."

"Good night," I felt him kiss my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."