Helpless

Unchained Melody

Jen's POV

I was released from the hospital and went back to stay with Lin-Manuel and Vanessa. I needed to be around them. They had become my support system and I found myself relying on them more each passing day.

Trauma was real. And it felt lonely. No matter how many people I had around me, cheering me on, and showing me love, I still felt alone. I decided I didn't want to tell my parents about my miscarriage. And when they questioned me about Johnny, I told them I had broken up with him. That I had ended our relationship. My parents adored Johnny and they couldn't understand why I had taken such a drastic decision. I lied to them and told them I wasn't sure if he had been the right man for me. When, I knew he was the one and that I had to continue in life without him. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never love anyone again.

Understandably, my parents were disappointed in me. They had accepted Johnny. Fully. With open arms. With the entirety of their hearts. And I had let them down. But I would rather them think badly about me. Then for them to find out that Johnny couldn't trust me. And worse, that I had lost our baby. That I wasn't even capable of carrying a child. Our child. I had never lied to my parents before. So, this one hurt.

Lin-Manuel and Vanessa were also disappointed in me. They didn't agree with me lying to my parents. Or to Johnny. But this was a decision I had to make. Life had to go on. And I had to make drastic decisions.

I knew Johnny was probably back home and since I didn't want to cross paths with him, I decided I would rent out an apartment to live there for a couple of months. That would be enough time for Johnny to forget about me.

"I can't wait to see it," I smiled at Vanessa. We walked towards my new apartment. I specifically chose the apartment because it was only a walking distance away from their home. I wanted to be close by.

"I really wish you would have stayed with us," Vanessa pouted. "The kids love you. They begged you to stay."

"I know," I sighed. "But I think it's better if I had my own place. Besides, designing my new place will keep my head away from thinking about...him."

"I still think you need to talk to him," she said, giving me a stern look. "Lin-Manuel has kept in touch with him. He really misses you."

I opened the door to my new apartment and walked in, ignoring Vanessa's last statement. Yes, this would work out just fine for me. I had plenty of time to decorate it the way I wanted my new place to look like. And it had a great view of New York City.

"Are you listening?" I heard Vanessa call out.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Well," she insisted. "Have you taken any of his calls?"

"No," I responded.

"Why not?" She sighed dramatically.

"Because" I almost hesitated. "I changed my phone number. So, he doesn't have access to me."

"What?!" she frowned. "When did you do that?"

"Earlier today," I said, looking out the window.

"Jen," Vanessa began. "I am so pissed off at you right now. You are being ridiculous."

"I'm sorry I've disappointed you," I shrugged.

"You two love each other," she continued. "And right now, you're throwing it all away. Over a stupid misunderstanding. You both are hot headed as hell. And dramatic as hell!"

"Look, V," I sighed, looking at her. "Listen. Please. I am not the right woman for him. He needs someone that's gonna be there for him all the time. Someone he can trust. Someone that can probably give him kids. I can't do that. I failed. Twice. So, I'm giving him his freedom back."

I looked down as I felt the tears begin to form.

"Jen," Vanessa said holding my hand. "You didn't fail. I know this is your life. And it's your decision. But give yourself credit. You're stronger than you think. And that's why he fell in love with you. If you don't want to see him now. Or if you need time. Fine."

"I don't need time," I shook my head. "It's over."

She looked at me for a couple of seconds without saying a word. Then, she nodded and gave me a hug.

Johnny's POV

I had landed back home two days ago. Home felt empty without Jen. Home felt like a prison without her. Even though she had stayed in my house a couple of times, we really lived in her home. That was ours. That's where I felt the most comfortable in. I knew she was in New York with Lin-Manuel and Vanessa. That's when it hit me: I needed to be at home. And this place wasn't it.

I grabbed my jacket and instructed Sean that we would be driving down to Jen's house.

On my way to her place. Our place, I kept thinking about how I felt when I got back home and came across the box, she had left with all my belongings. It felt so final. As if I would never see her again. Something I refuse to accept. I sat there and cried for hours. She had even packed the picture we had taken together, shortly after we started dating, in that box. Tossing whatever was left of our relationship in it. It broke me.

I still had a key to Jen's home. So, I walked right in. I immediately felt right at home. This was the place where we had created so many memories together. Where we would sit in the living room and watched some of her favorite TV shows. We would eat pizza and drink some of her homemade lemonade. Sometimes we would even pass out on that sofa.

I walked upstairs and into our bedroom. My stuff was all gone but it still felt like my bedroom. My home. The place I was meant to be. I sat on the edge of the bed and felt tears begin to stream down my face.

"I miss you," I whispered.

I walked around her bedroom just to feel closer to her. There was her vinyl collection. She was a collector of good music. She liked everything. I spotted one of her favorites. It was an Elvis vinyl. I smiled. She was such a big fan of his. Seeing her love for his music made me fall in love with his music.

Let's see what you got.

I played the record and immediately begin to feel closer to her. I remembered this song. She had played it for me downstairs. She did have a beautiful voice that she had inherit from her dad and her grandfather. I loved hearing her sing.

Oh, my love, my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time

Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me

I sat back in our bed and continued to listen to the song. A song that was now so heartbreaking. A song that felt like a final farewell. I grabbed Mr. Pookie, her favorite stuffed animal. I held it close to my chest. I missed her. I inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like her.

"You know what?" I said, thinking out loud. "You're gonna have to come with me. I need you."

I let out a sad laugh. I felt pathetic. Here I was, talking to a stuffed animal. But I didn't care. No one was there. And I needed something of hers to keep me company at night. Or however long it took for her to forgive me.

She had to forgive me. At least, I hoped that she would. Otherwise, how would I go on?

Lonely rivers flow
To the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers cry
Wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home, wait for me

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," I said out loud. "I love you. And I need you."

Oh, my love, my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time

I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me

THE END

End of Book One.

Thank you, guys!!!