Helpless

And Maybe Someday...

I was on my knees. The tears wouldn't stop falling down my face. I remained there until I couldn't cry anymore. How long had it been? 10 minutes? 30 minutes? An hour. I didn't know. All I knew was that Johnny had ended our relationship. He had ended the one thing that mattered the most to me. He didn't even let me explain my side of the story. It was over.

For a couple of minutes, I was hopeful that he would come back and apologized. That he would walk past that door and tell me that he didn't mean it. But he never came back.

I didn't know what love was until I met him. I had never loved the way I had loved Johnny. I gave him my heart, my soul, my everything. And now that it was over, I was left with nothing. It was the most painful moment of my life.

After a few minutes, I finally stood up and walked back into the bedroom. What was I going to do now? I couldn't stay there. But where would I go? I sat on the edge of the bed and cried some more. I looked over at the nightstand, Johnny had left his sunglasses there. His stuff was still there. I had laid his pajamas there earlier, in hopes that everything would have turned differently. I had no clue that I had flied back to London only for our relationship to end so abruptly.

I grabbed his shirt and smelled it. The tears began to fall down my face again.

"I love you," I cried. "You didn't even let me explain..."

After a couple of minutes, I began to brainstorm my options. Where was I gonna go now? I knew I had to go back home.

Just then, I remembered that my dad's private plane was under maintenance here in London. I would have to call my parents to ask them if it was okay for me to use it to fly back home. There was no use of me staying here in Europe anymore. I had to get back and try to recover from this.

But I also knew that I didn't want to worry my parents. I couldn't let them know that Johnny and I had broken up. At least not now. That could wait until I was back home.

Think, Jen. Think about a good excuse.

I calmed myself enough to call my mom. After a couple of rings, my mom finally picked up.

"Hi, baby," she answered.

"Hi, mom," I faked a smile. I needed to sell the excuse I was about to give her.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now," she said.

"No," I laughed sadly. "The guys are still celebrating."

"That makes sense," she laughed. "What's going on?"

"Well," I tried to sound upbeat. "I was just gonna ask you and dad if there was any chance, I could borrow your private plane to fly back home."

"Why?" she asked.

"I got a call from Jordan Peele," I lied. "It seems the movie company and his production company want to meet up to have an emergency meeting regarding budget. I really want to be there to help."

"Can't you do it from London? Through video?" she asked. My mom was not stupid. Maybe she could sense something was going on. But I refused to tell her. I wasn't ready. I had to continue with my lie.

"I'd rather be there, mom," I continued with my lie. "It's really important for us to get this sorted out."

"Alright," she sighed. "But will Johnny be, okay? I know he has 2 more shows to go."

Johnny won't care. He doesn't care about me. He broke up with me.

"He's fine with it," I lied. "He understands."

"Okay," she sighed. "We will send out Martin, our other bodyguard, to fly you out. I'll make sure to arrange so that the plane is ready for you in about 30 minutes. Will that be, okay?"

"That's perfect," I answered. I hope that my mom didn't sense my heartbreak.

"Okay, baby, text me before you fly out."

"Will do, mom."

If my mom suspected something was wrong, she didn't let me know. It seemed that she believed my story. My parents would eventually find out that I had lied to them. But for now, I had to collect my things and get ready to fly out.

I went around the hotel room to make sure that I had gather everything that was mine. I requested for an Uber to fly me out. I still had time. So, I decided to write Johnny a goodbye letter.

Johnny was probably still furious and disillusioned with me. But I needed closure. I needed to let him know how I felt. Even if it was for the last time. The tears continued to stream down my face the entire time I was writing the letter.

At least he will know my last thoughts.

I placed the letter on the nightstand where his sunglasses were. I grabbed my phone charger, my suitcase and my purse.

Just as I was about walk out into the hall, I saw Sean standing there. I was surprised to see him there.

"Sean?" I asked.

"Ms. Jennifer," he nodded. He then looked at my suitcase and frowned. "Where are you going?"

"I'm flying back home," I responded.

"Right now?" he asked. I was confused. Did he not know that Johnny and I had broken up? Why was he still here?

"Yes, right now," I responded. "Sean, Johnny and I broke up." His eyes widened. There was my answer. He had no idea what had happened up until that point.

"There's no reason for me to stay here," I continued.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Maybe I can drive you to the airport."

"No," I stopped him. "You are relieved from your duties with me. You don't have to take care of me anymore." I reached out to him and gave him a hug. He returned it and held on to me. I loved Sean. I considered him an older brother and now, I would lose him too.

"Thank you for everything, Sean," I said as I began to sob. "You'll always be like my older brother."

His eyes began to water, and he nodded. "It was my absolute pleasure. I love you, kid."

I nodded and gave him a sad smile. "Take care of him, okay?"

"I will," he nodded.

I walked towards the elevator and waited for it to open. When it did, I got inside and before the doors closed, I looked at Sean once again and waved goodbye.

Minutes later, I arrived at the airport and boarded my dad's private plane. I was glad I was the only passenger. I needed alone time. I sent out a text to my mom to let her know I was about to fly out.

Then I looked out the window and cried as I saw the London lights for the last time. I had landed in this beautiful place with Johnny, in hopes that our lives would be spent together forever. Those dreams were shattered. My heart had been broken. And my soul had been bruised.

There's nothing left to do but go our separate ways
And pick up all the pieces left behind us
And maybe someday, somewhere along the way
Another love will find us