Helpless

Deceptions

My mind was still reeling from the fact that I had been raped. Raped by a man I knew. By a man that claimed to love me. By a man I thought had cared for me. I felt like I had been broken into a million pieces. As if I had been silenced.

After he had raped me, he fell asleep right next to me. I sobbed the entire night. I didn't sleep at all. And when the morning came, he said he was ready for more. Mercifully, he seemed to not be as courageous without any alcohol in his system. So, he left me alone.

It had been an entire day, and he didn't show up. Every time the door opened; I jumped in fear. I feared that he would be back and rape me again. I tried to sleep as much as I possibly could. I was so depressed that it was not difficult for me to just lay there and sleep.

Will I ever get out of here? Will I make it out alive?

I was awakened by the rattling of the keys. To my horror, Alex walked through the door with a bottle of wine and the biggest smile on his face.

"Baby," he smiled walking towards me. "I come in peace."

I said nothing. I kept looking at him like a hawk, following every step he took.

"What's the matter?" he pouted, kneeling in front of me. "Why are you so sad?"

Tears streamed down my face. Because you fucking raped me, you asshole. Because you took my voice away. Because you took my family away. Because you took Johnny away. I hate you.

But the words wouldn't come out. I couldn't say anything in fear that he may attempt to rape me again. I felt helpless. I felt useless as I sat there crying in silence. I felt humiliated.

"Don't be sad," he said, kissing my cheek. "I have good news I wanted to share with you."

I waited until he stopped kissing me. But I never made eye contact with him.

"I visited your family at your grandparents' ranch", he whispered in my ear. My blood ran cold. What? How?

"What?" I stammered. "How? Why?"

He let out one of the most diabolical laughs I have ever heard. I waited for him to respond but he continued to laugh. He then took the bottle of wine and took a huge sip out of it.

"Why did you visit my family?" I begged.

"Well, my little Jen," he began with a smile. "Since you're mine now, I wanted to make sure that they're dealing with your absence the right way. I wanted to make sure that they're okay."

My vision was clouded by the tears that were now falling down my face. "How could you?" I sobbed.

"Your precious old fart of a pirate was there as well," he smiled.

I froze. Johnny was with my family? Here in Mexico? My heart was breaking by the minute.

"He's not doing so well," he laughed. "The dumb son of a bitch is completely destroyed."

I felt my entire body shaking with anxiety. He knew how much my family and Johnny meant to me. It wasn't enough that he had kidnapped me and took me away from everyone and everything I love. Now, he had taken it upon himself to visit them to enjoy their pain. He was sick. And he was cruel.

"You know, baby," he said sitting down next to me. "I made your family believe that they had found your body in the middle of the road. I was there when they got the call. The look on everyone's faces. That's what the fuck they get for trying to get rid of me."

I turned to look at him and disbelief. "Why would you do something so cruel? Isn't it enough that you've taken everything from me?"

He laughed and completely ignored me. "Don't worry, your dad had to go and identify the body. I'm sure he knows by now that it wasn't you. I just wanted to give them a taste of what's coming. And you're never gonna see them again."

"I hate you," I cried. "I fucking hate you."

"But the best part of the whole thing," he laughed. "Was your precious pirate. When he heard they had found your body, the fucker couldn't stop crying. He was so gone, they had to practically carry him out of the living room."

I couldn't hear his bullshit anymore. "You're a fucking asshole," I yelled as I began to hit him with my tiny fists. Anywhere I could. He then grabbed me by the fists to block me from hitting him.

"Hey, hey," he yelled. He then pulled my head back by the hair and then punched me. He punched me. All he had done before was slap me. But this time, he knocked me out with a punch. I laid on the floor, holding my lip. There was blood.

"Don't you ever fucking talk to me like that again," he yelled. "I make the rules here. And you will obey my authority."

He paced around me and continued. "Seeing that old fart crying like that was very satisfying. You know why?"

I didn't respond.

"Because if it hadn't been for his greasy ass, you would have been my wife by now. He publicly embarrassed me by having your own family turn against me. And I've been there for your entire fucking family for years. Decades."

I finally looked at him, as I tried wiping the blood from my lip.

"And now look at you?" He kneeled grabbing me by my chin. "You're paying the consequences for his actions. I am glad he is broken. He will go on to live the rest of his miserable life in search for another young actress he can fuck and probably marry. He's gonna go and use drugs and drink heavily. That's his fucking karma for fucking up my life."

"I would have never been your wife," I responded. "I would have rather stayed single then to have ever date you."

I then felt him pull me up by my hair until I was standing right in front of him. He then placed me in a choke hold and began to punch my face repeatedly. There was no way of me protecting my face. I tried to fight him off however I could with my hands, but I felt I was beginning to lose conscience.

I then felt he pushed me as I fell into the mattress. I could no longer feel my face. It felt completely numb and I couldn't fully open my left eye. It was everything I had read online, horror stories about women that lived to tell about their abuse. I wasn't sure I was going to be one of them, but I knew that I was done letting Alex get his way with me.

"You have a big fucking mouth," he yelled. "But I will show you once again who's boss around here."

I tried opening my eyes, but I could only see through one of them and it was still blurry.

I saw his shirt being tossed on the floor.

"I've wanted to fuck you all day today," he said. "And it's the perfect time to do so."

I couldn't let him rape me again without a fight. I knew I was too weak to put up a fight, but if he was gonna hurt me, I'd rather have him kill me.

"You disgust me," I responded weakly. "Every time you're around me, I want to puke. Repeatedly. You repulse me. I hate you. I'd rather you kill me."

I then felt him kick me in my stomach. Not once, not twice. But multiple times. I tried to shield his blows, but they continued. I cried in pain. He was gonna kill me.

"You think you're so tough, huh?" he yelled. "I'll fucking show you."

I was in so much pain, I felt that if I tried to move, the pain would only get worse. I braced myself for more blows, but he stopped. I then felt him on top of me as he placed his hands around my neck. He began to squeeze the air right out of me. I could no longer breathe. Maybe this was the end. This is what he wanted all along. To kill me.

In the distance, I could hear people yelling. Am I hallucinating?

"Hands above your head, right now! Move away from her! Now!"

And then everything went black.