My Crush

3 - It's not real

Build POV

Right. I went back to Bible's apartment. I hit my head on the steering wheel a few times trying to see if reason would come back to my head. But nothing. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. As I'm always there, I was able to get into the condo without any problems. I took the elevator feeling anxious. When I stopped in front of Bible's apartment door, I reached out to ring the doorbell. I stopped. Damn it. What am I going to say?

I decided to try to hear something. I put my ear to the door. What are they doing? Why is it so silent? Are they not in the room? Maybe Us has stayed for a few minutes and left. Bible must be showering. Or maybe...?! Fuck! Dammit... I press my ear closer to the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Haa!!" I jolted and yelled.

Bible and Us were looking at me questioningly.

"Shiiiiiia!...don't scare people like that". My heart started pounding.

"Sorry, Bui...but...what were you doing? What are you doing here, Bui?"

"Me? ...uh..." They were looking at me suspiciously

"You...?!"

Think, Build, think! Ah!

"I forgot my backpack! I think I left it here at your apartment, Bible. But I was thinking you'd already gone to bed...I didn't want to bother..." I smiled, embarrassed.

"You must be desperate...you got here before us" Us smirked.

"Let's go inside to look. But I thought you left with your backpak, Bui."

"Well..." I smiled. I felt proud of myself for being able to think of an excuse and still arrive in time to spoil the fun...haha. Good job, Build!

"Come in Us! I'll get the book inside too."

"Sure". Us looked at me like he was a little annoyed. I couldn't care less.

"Build, I don't think it's here. I can't find it."

"Oh...really? Geez..."

"Us, here's the book."

"Thanks man...I couldn't find it in any bookstore. I'll get back to you soon."

"No problem. I've already read it. Take your time."

"Well, we better let Bible rest, Us. Come on, come on" I pushed Us towards the door, not giving him time to protest.

" Thank you, Bible! Good night! Sweet dreams!"

SLAM!

I closed the door tightly, not giving them time to say goodbye.

Bible POV

I shook my head watching Build close the door and walk away. He has a crazy funny way that makes me smile all the time.

Aah! I wish he had stayed.

But after a while I stopped misunderstanding Bui's behavior. In the beginning, when we first met, I think I mistook his sweet, smiley way for something else. We hit it off right away. We are two introverts with similar tastes who understand each other.

As much as I try to be fully professional, I may have started to confuse what the character's feelings are with my own. We're always together, doing interviews and going to events, portraying almost a lovey dovey couple. After pretending for so long, it has started to feel real. I must know how to handle it professionally. It would be too amateurish to get carried away by what is not real.

But... why touching his skin today made me feel a shiver through my body...?! giving him food made my heart feel warm?! And appreciating something that felt like a sign of jealousy made me smile inside?!

Are all those sensations and emotions an illusion?

Maybe I should start pulling away when we don't have to shoot any scene or go to events together. It wouldn't be fair to Build to deal with my inexperience. I must repeat to myself that this is all just acting. Our friendship is real, and nothing more. He confirmed this at dinner. Build is just being professional. And I need to be too.

...