Tonight is the night we die

Chapter Sixteen

Hi, hi ! Little info : in this chapter, we talk about a certain playlist, available on Spotify ! You can find a link to it at the very end (external link), right above the comment section ! Enjoy and thank you again for the comments, I LOVE THEM ! :)

GLORIA'S POV

I spend minutes looking at the screen with my thumb hovering above his text. I dread what words I am going to find in there. Losing him would tear me apart. Tears are already rolling down my eyes. My breathing quickens. My thumb decides for me the next step and presses the icon.

Jake : " Hello Gloria. I have to spend a lot of time trying to write this message. Every time, it was not enough or it was too much or it was not as honest as I wanted. My wish at that very moment is to be with you. To hold you in my arms is all I want. But I cannot tell for certain anymore if it is also what you want.

In that forest, you saw more of me. I opened up to you. I liked it. I was scared to let you in, especially on such a deep level but you showed that I could trust you and I could expose myself without risking anything. You made me feel the safest I have ever felt in a while. It was amazing. I was whole again. I was alive again. However, now that you discovered that new part of me, I fear that you do not feel as safe as I do when are together. I have a lot more to say about the way you make me feel. I will always have something to say about the love I carry for you, Gloria. But I do not want it to influence the decision I am about to ask you to take.

I am in the same hotel I have been to before we met. The police are, almost, no longer an issue. Meaning, that I can be with you, by your side, in a couple of days. Or I can completely disappear from your life forever.

Ask me to stay and I will obey.Ask me to leave and I will obey.Either way, you decide Gloria.

I know I have said I will not say anything to influence your decision but in case this is my last chance at communicating with you, I need you to know that I love you and always will.

:) "

As I read the text, my heart tightens in my chest. I am crying so much that I have to stop, rub my eyes, and read again to make sure I am understanding everything and not missing any pieces of sentences. Every time I rub my tears off my cheeks, I wince in pain at the touch of my bruises. I read his message so many times, that I knew it by heart. My chest rises up and down with my quick breathing. I close my eyes for a second and I can perfectly picture Jake being right there with me. The perfect way his body curved into mine as we kiss in the middle of the forest like it was a shred of pure evidence that we needed to be held this close to each other. That feeling when his lips were on mine, was divine, it made sense. I want to feel that again. Even if it also means facing ugly truths. It will get uglier but it will also get even more beautiful. And for that and that only, I am willing to risk it all.

Gloria : " We have the exact same wish as I read your message. I miss you. So that's why I want you to be by my side as soon as possible Jake. I know you will question my decision, but it's mine and you said you'll obey. So I will expect you soon. I have a lot of questions about that new part of yourself. It is scary yes, I won't lie. But I am willing to discover it, at your own pace. My trust in you didn't budge and my love either...

I hope you'll be here soon to tell me face to face those three little words. But in the meantime, this will do : I love you too ! :) "

I send with a sigh. I left my ex-boyfriend because my life with him was boring and flavorless. How did I end up here ? But with Jake, it was meant to be. Something was attracting us to each other since the beginning. We just couldn't escape it. And now that we are stuck in the spiral, there is no way out. I am happy with that idea.