Tonight is the night we die

Chapter Twenty-Three

JAKE'S POV

After a minute of silence where we just lay together, Gloria ended up talking, telling me about her day with Iris. At first, I was surprised. It was also disappointing to realize that Iris was kinder to Gloria than Thomas has been. I would have expected the opposite. It was impossible for me to detach my eyes from Gloria. I wanted to be sure to not miss one emotion, one little something she would have left behind. I wanted to know everything that was weighing on her heart. She hated it I could tell but she did it for me. I was grateful for it and I made sure to show it to her.Gloria helped me so much when it was about opening up and facing my emotions. I wanted to make sure I could give her the same safe space in return, despite not knowing how to exactly help her deal with her emotions. After our talk about Iris, she asked about Alan. I understood she was done talking for the day. I did not insist. I talked to her about him and how we were quite similar and how weird it was. She asked about the case but I refused to let her now even a single detail about it. Her faces scrunched, she was not happy about it :

" I put you in enough danger as it is. One case was enough, let's not do that again. Please ! " I begged her and after a long sigh to let me know her discontent, she accepted.

The case was rough and after knowing the details, I was convinced we were just wasting our time. No info, the bodies just appeared and there was no trace of anyone, not a single mistake was made by the killer. I did not ask Alan why this case in particular. The victims were young women, the same age as Gloria or around it, looking like her most of them. It was a strange feeling to see the resemblance of someone you know and love with someone dead. Looking at the pictures, my mind was blank, my body just as cold as the victim I was observing. I promised myself that Gloria will stay away from that case and anything else Alan asked me to do. Risking her life with Hannah's case was already a dangerous bet. I was not about to start it all over again.

I knew something else was bothering Gloria. It was not about Iris or Alan. I doubted it was about anything that happened in the mine either. We stayed quiet for a while and I was waiting for her to talk about it. Meanwhile, my mind was racing with thoughts and conjectures. We had our first sexual intercourse so naturally, I wondered if I did something bad or if it was not as good as I thought it was. Or perhaps she regretted staying with me, agreeing to be with me. A part of me knew it was nonsense. I've come across texts she sent to Jessica and I knew her feelings. It was bad of me to do it but it was a way to know if Gloria was truly happy with me. Despite all that knowledge, it is still a fear that it is all fake. My mind will come up with the craziest scenarios instead of believing her love. How could someone like her love someone like me ? I do now know where or how to find a plausible answer. But there she was, laying in my arms. Being insecure is one thing. But being aware of it and still not have any control over it is another thing :

" Have I done something wrong ? " I asked and immediately felt stupid. Of course, I did something wrong. I have killed her dad, that is one big important thing.

Gloria looked at me with a frown on her face, silently questioning me. I sat and she adopted the same position :

" There is something that you are not telling me. I know that for sure. What is it ? Is it me ? " I scrutinized her, looking for any sign that I was on the right track

" You did nothing wrong, Jake, there is nothing else to talk about " It was a lie. I had spent so much time with the group lately, observing her reactions that I was better at reading emotions now. I could see she was lying just like everyone was lying whenever Jessica was cooking something and we had to say it is delicious when it truly was not

" Why don't you want to tell me ? Is it about last night ? Did I hurt you ? Was it bad ? " I threw all the questions out, hoping to get something out of her, the confirmation that I was not good enough for her and just not worth her time. But nothing. I got nothing. She just chuckled like what I said did not make any sense and shook her head :