Tonight is the night we die

Chapter Fifty

I turned around. Slowly. Palms up. As if Gloria was the FBI with a big gun aimed at me. A part of me couldn't wait to face her because I had no idea what expression would wait for me. Another part dreaded the moment our eyes would meet. Multiples times in the last few years have I ended up naked in front of her, emotionally and physically. But now was the ultimate nakedness. No more masks, no more pretending to be good. She had seen me covered in blood, covered in her own father's blood, and she remained by my side. Ned wasn't an angel. Not a significant loss. Yes, he regretted his past actions and all that jazz, but fuck that. You had to be ready to pay the big price for those actions, and he did.

What was on Gloria's face? Shock. Disgust. Fear. Sadness. Anger.

Well. Nothing. Neutral. Completely neutral face.

I tilted my head and frowned to see better, to spot the tiniest clue about how she felt at that very second.

"Did you get all the info you needed?" she asked. Normally. Like no Dead Ned was in the room with us.

I cleared my throat and put my knife away.

"Yes," I stated. Simple. Acting unbothered. Unworried. Like I was perfectly fine with that side of me and that blood on my hands and collar. And that puddle my shoes soaked in.

I was bothered and worried. Those became my second and third names at that point.

"Let's go, then," and she vanished.

Red tinted the white tip of my shoes. Ok. Not what I expected.

"Did I just fuck it all up, Ned?" I whispered.

This took a dark turn. Shocker! The enemy wasn't only Owen. A battle against him but also myself. And against Gloria. My brain and my real motivations confused me. I felt out of my own head. Like a spectator of the carnage to come, a disastrous movie a crazy direction invested too much time and, money and sanity to walk away now, leaving the world doomed to witness it all.

I packed the map and dragged my feet out of this place. Gloria waited near the motorcycle. Arms crossed, the helmet hanging from her hand. What scared me the most was the silence between us. I would have preferred her yelling at me, even throwing up at my face. Something. I needed something. A reaction! A clear one. But I had never seen her face so expressionless. A book with the most wonderful cover but not a single word on those pristine pages. The holiest bible, still unwritten. I would kneel to her figure and pray her name every damn day. How many sins could she forgive me of before sending me to burn for eternity?

"Drive fast," Gloria said, and I tilted my head. "You like to drive fast, right? Really fast? Like you are immune to danger,"

I straightened and inhaled strongly, ready to argue with the exhale.

"So do that! Drive fast!"

"Gloria, what are you do-"

"Murder is not scaring me away, so perhaps speed will," she shrugged-still no bloody emotions. And I thought I became better at reading people. Well, there was nothing to read there. My sweet blank page.

But she wanted to play? Then we were about to play a game I knew how to win.

"Ok. Fast it is," I shrugged too and put on my helmet.

I clutched the handlebars as her hands circled my waist. Gentle at first, my brain dilly-dallied that whole stupid game. Too reckless, too dumb, a useless danger for both of us when a bigger mission waited for us, people needing help waited for us. But something twisted my thoughts. The road was clear. Small dark isolated roads. We chased the freezing air. The stars and moon witnessed our stupidity. We drove faster. The scenery loaded as we broke through the mist. The unknown welcomed us as the moon hid behind a cloud. Her grip was light around my chest. This wasn't enough for her. She wasn't scared. Neither was I. The bike buzzed into my ear as a swarm of bees came after us, ready to feed upon our recklessness. Like I had stolen their Queen.