Tonight is the night we die

Chapter Fourty

Thank you for bearing with me ! A little note to let you know that we are getting close to the end, for real this time. One chapter is left after this one :( 

Enjoy this one ! Thank you ! ❤

GLORIA'S POV

Leaving Jake was a hard thing to do. At least, we had a chance to talk. I told him how I felt, he listened, he apologized, he hugged me and he wanted more just like I wanted more. I stood there strong and decided to not let him have what he wanted so fast, frustrating him and me at the same time. That was the price to pay. Kissing him would be brushing away the pain in my heart caused by his decision and I needed to make sure he understood how hurt I was, despite the calm and collected version of myself that stood in front of him. Refusing the soft feeling of his lips on mine was the way to do it.

The boys had 24 hours to deal with the shit they got themselves into. They told me more about those 'drastic actions' Alan will take if they don't accomplish what's asked of them. It was fair. I feared for Jake, of course. I didn't want to lose him but it was fair too in a way. He cannot get away from everything, every time. I knew he would make it right. And then I doubted. Maybe, despite the fear of losing me, he would prefer his old lifestyle to this one, the one with me. He will never be free, he will always be hiding, and he will always have to look above his shoulder. I didn't mind living that kind of life. It was a possibility though that my presence ends up being too much for him to handle. He betrayed my trust, however, I don't doubt his love for me. But sometimes even if you love someone very much, it doesn't work out the way you wished it would.

It all went so fast between us that the path in front of us was still blurry, dangerous, and frightening but also beautiful, inviting, and fascinating. Finding a good balance was vital but we kept on going from one extreme to the other, attracted like magnets to polar opposites. It was probably just how we were Jake and I.

I got myself a room in a little hotel in Colville and I immediately go to bed as soon as I arrive. Cleo is with Jessy and I will go back by her side tonight. I plan on texting Jake when I wake up to check how things are going. We'll see how it all goes from there.

When I wake up, it is barely 6 pm. I slept a few hours but it seem enough to have some of my energy back. I send my text to Jake, staying very formal with him, simply asking what is happening on their end. A nice warm shower helps me feel like myself again. I try my hardest to not think about Jake, I want to focus on everything else but him but he ends up being the only person in my mind. No matter how hurt I am, I still need him, a strong need that nothing can stop, not even a lie as big as the one he told me.

After my shower and putting on fresh clothes, I jumped back in bed, grabbing my phone.

Jake : " Almost there. One small detail is left to be taken care of. Have you slept and eaten today ? "

Gloria : " Don't get distracted ! "

Jake : " I am not getting distracted, you are just a part of myself. So have you ? "

Gloria : " Slept, yes. Eaten, not yet. I will ! "

Jake : " Good ! "

I see him typing and deleting his words over and over again.

Jake : " What can I do to settle the situation ? "

Gloria : " Do what Alan asked and leave me some time "

Jake : " How much time ? "

Gloria : " Jake I don't know ! Just some time "

Jake : " I can leave you some time but still be in the same room as you, no ? "