Consequences of love [BTS]

Chapter 23: Healing

P.O.V: Kim Taehyung

Months have passed since I read her letter and I've started focusing on my career instead of thinking of what she wrote. I've tried to forget everything and really used what happened to inspire my work as well as use it for future reference. All the members have sincerely apologised to me. Jungkook and I have patched things up between us. He's even started getting close to Hyeyoon's ex-best friend which I find kind of strange but it is what it is. I guess I'm happy for him, although, he has kind of been distracted a lot lately because of Subeun being here.

Currently, I'm working on writing some lyrics to conjoin with the rest of the members' lyrics so that we have a song to perform for Army when we do our next concert. I really hope the Armies appreciate the new song that we've all come up with, over these last few months. It's not like these months we've had off weren't used for working as well. Yoongi has been working hard composing the soundtrack for the song and Namjoon has been trying to distribute lyrics for everyone to sing as well as rap. 

I managed to finish up the last few pieces of the song before submitting it across to Namjoon to piece together so we could record in the studio soon. I sent my lyrics over email to Namjoon before getting up out of my swivel chair and exiting the studio. I walked out of the BigHit building as I ruffled my hair whilst heading towards my car, I got in and then drove off to my apartment. I parked the car in the garage, made my way upstairs to my apartment and let myself in. Yeontan attacked my feet as I walked through the door, I started giggling as I picked him up in my arms after shutting the front door behind me. "Excited to see daddy?" I asked. He barked as I put him down, I went to the kitchen and put out some fresh food for him to eat before heading into the bathroom. I wanted to shower before getting into bed, so that was exactly what I did and Yeontan joined me in bed shortly after I had left the shower and changed into some pyjamas. He snuggled up next to me whilst I looked through my phone.

I checked my weverse account, replied to some Armies posts and questions as well as uploaded on my story a picture of me and Yeontan in bed. After replying to a few more posts and comments, I switched off my phone, put it on charge and then set it down on the nightstand before turning on my side, grabbing a pillow to put between my legs and having one to hold in my arms whilst I tried falling asleep. It took me around three hours to finally fall asleep and Yeontan was already snoring his head off whilst he was fast asleep.

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P.O.V: Moon Hyeyoon

I haven't looked back or thought about it since I had left his apartment. Months have gone by, and I've used this time to heal myself as well as started to see my therapist again to help with my mental health. I've fallen down a rabbit hole of depression and anxiety as well as unhealthy coping mechanisms to cope with these overwhelming emotions. I spoke to my therapist about the impact of the loss of both my parents and the loss of a child. She suggested that I start taking things slow and write my emotions into a personal diary.

I've learnt somethings about myself over these last few months whilst being away from the outside world. I wasn't at home when I left. I went back to rehab to help me cope from impairing myself more. I realised something during my time in the clinic, I had been so hard on myself to feel secure that I began pushing people away that cared about me. My therapist picked up on this, she told me this was a result of my childhood trauma and it was now affecting my adulthood life. She started to see a pattern of how it happens.

It would start of subtle then slowly increase itself into an overwhelming feeling. She stated that I had built walls so high that it became impossible for anyone to climb it. I had built myself a shelter emotionally and mentally to stop feeling the same emotions that I had felt when I was with my ex-boyfriend and when all the sexual exploitation happened to me. I wanted so badly for someone to help me but I knew deep down that it was my responsibility to heal myself before letting anyone else into my safe space. I wanted to feel understood. Loved.