~𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕖~

Body...

Tw: purging, Eating disorders!!

I woke up at 11AM, unwillingly dragged myself out of bed and made myself some breakfast, then, for the first time today, I checked my phone. I cleared any un-needed notifications, I went to clear an Instagram message then realised who it was from. Her. I opened it to find that she had sent it the night before "done stalking me?" Was all the text read, I scoffed at it, seriously, I'm stalking her, she was the one taking videos of me. I left the message without a response and carried on clearing my notification bar. After eating I decided to go to the gym for a while, let off some steam. I picked up my gym bag at looked at the amount of snacks that I had brought with me, never ate and forgot to put away, I couldn't be bothered to empty my bag should be fine, right? I picked up my phone and turned my music on. I tied my hair up into a ponytail so it was out of my face, placed yet another snack into my bag and headed out. I had some drinks in my locker so I didn't need to bring one with me, I brought some cash with me, so that I could pay my membership.

I jogged there and when, Nick, the owner saw me his face lit up. He helped me train for years and we had grown very close, I hadn't been to the gym since my dad, Nick and dad were close as well so he understood why I disappeared. I walked over to him and he lifted me off my feet "welcome back!!" He said squeezing me tightly. I laughed at him as he let me down, "it's good to be back, you know, hey uhh here's $25 for my membership" he placed my money in the cash machine "here, your new membership card" he said handing me the small slip of card, with my name, how much I paid, expiration date and signature. "Thanks, did you clear my locker?"I said rubbing the back of my neck "course not come with me." I followed him to the lockers and he handed me a key. I opened it up and everything was there, exactly how I left it. I placed my bag with spare clothes in it and noticed some girls talking about me, I could tell it was about me considering they were pointing and laughing at me. I brushed it off for now and headed into the main gym. "Nick! I wanna spar with you later" I shouted wit a smile on my face. He nodded and returned the smile. I placed both headphones in my ears.

*time skip*

After my usual she's and back workout I wanted to try something new. The most I had ever deadlifted was 85kg, and just because I hadn't been in the gym didn't mean I hadn't been training. Because I had, I had a gym in the apartment complex, it was a private gym that you could rent to be empty, and that's what I did. I wanted to try and deadlift at least 95, hopefully 100. I motioned for Nick to come over and spot me. "You're sure?" I nodded "95kg. I can do it" we placed the weights on the bar, starting with 80kg and working my way up. I nodded to signal I was ready and Nick took a few steps back ready to grab the bar if I dropped it. After a few deep breaths I planted my feet shoulder width apart and grabbed the bar, I pulled it up so I was standing, took another breath and pulled it up to my chest, then in the air. I held it for a few seconds before pulling it back down and letting go. I repeated this process all the way up to 100kg. I was able to do 95kg, and I wasn't going to back down at 100. "Syd I don't think this is a good idea, have a rest first before you do anything else." Nick said placing his hand on the bar. I decided to follow his advice considering he sounded worried. I sat down and grabbed a drink, after 10 minutes I was ready to go again, I stood up and took my stance.

I lifted it and dropped it again. "Syd-" "I can do it. You saw me with 95 what's 5 more." I huffed, adjusting my position on the bar. After a momentary break I lifted the bar, this time holding it in position. I counted from 3 in my head and heaved it up to my chest. Nick was ready to catch me at any moment in time. I pushed and pushed until the bar sat over my head, holding it there for a few seconds then threw it forward, releasing it from my grip. A few people who watched cheered me on afterwards and congratulated me. I sat for a few moments, hunched over catching my breath before sitting down and looking through my bag for something to eat.

The two girls from earlier came over to me while I was eating, I've always struggled with food s o I just prayed that they would leave me alone. "God, no matter how much muscle she has, she can't keep herself from eating everything in shight" one of them said while the other laughed, they did it in a way they knew I could hear them. I turned to Nick who was completely oblivious to what had just happened. "I'll be back in a sec." He nodded and I made my way towards the bathroom. I threw away the rest of my lunch and then knelt by the toilet. I don't know why I did what I did, I had been getting better, it was just their words really got to me, I pushed  my fingers to the back of my throat until I vomited. I had no idea that someone had walked in until I heard them knock on the stall I was in "everything okay in there?" Said a low females voice which held a very thick Australian accent in it. I sat down and flushed the chain "yeah...just a little unwell." I replied not opening the door until I had cleaned up the best I could. I unlocked the stall and began to wash my hands "You're not unwell." The woman said sitting on the sink "why would I be vomiting if I wasn't unwell?" I said quite sarcastically. "Because you purged the food you just ate." My stomach dropped and I hesitated "n-no I didn't" "I watched you." "What through the walls??" "No, i watched you train while I was working out myself. Saw you deadlift 100kg, nice job by the way. You began to eat then two girls walked past you, laughing, you looked back at Nick,  excused yourself, tossed your lunch then came in here and stuck your fingers drown your throat until you threw up."  I looked down at my feet. She knew everything "okay and. Why is it any of your business, you stalking me?" She laughed "What did they say?" I turned around and watched her jump down from the sink "why do you care?" I went to open the for but she pulled me back in, holding me agaist the wall. My cheeks warmed up and A pink tint began to appear on them. She tried her best not to smirk, "What. Did. They. Say" I looked down "They commented on my eating habits so I changed them, now can I leave?" Her arm moved out of the way and I left. "Nick, we don't need to spar today, I'll come down tomorrow and spar instead" "you sure, it's pretty quiet today, I know that tomorrow a lot of the superstars will be sparring tomorrow, ready for NXT and raw on Thursday." I just nodded and left. I walked home quickly to avoid being spotted and went to the bathroom. While I showered I couldn't help but think about that woman in the gym. Why was she so persistent to make sure I was alright. Why did I fucking blush at her stopping me. Why do I feel like I know her??