~𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕖~

baby..

Tw: kind of gory detail about labour!!

"An ambulance is on its way but right now you are delivering this baby. When mom is ready she's going to want to push for 6-10 seconds, okay?" "S: yeah okay. Ami you ready" her frantic nodding told me to start counting. "Okay, ready... Push!......."

At that moment, I didn't know what was going on. He was way earlier than expected, but I gotta say, Ami was amazingly strong through this entire process. 

Watching her scream in agony wasn't the easiest sight but I knew that her main priority was making sure her son was safe and healthy. Those ten seconds felt a lot longer than usual and I could see the relief after those passing moments concluded and she could relax for the time being. The 911 operator stayed on the phone with me to guide me through what I had to do. "Okay, the next few pushes should be slightly easier, when mom is ready I want you to repeat the process, okay?" She asked, a trace of worry in her voice. I whimpered a small 'yes' shock overcoming my entire being. It took a moment for Ami to compose herself but she nodded when she was ready and I began to count up to ten as she quite literally pushed a human out of her. The nausea began to grow but I couldn't show it, I had to stay strong for Ami, it didn't matter how I was feeling at the moment, all attention on was my sister and my nephew.

The operator told me that the baby should start 'crowning' with the next push and I really had to be alert. I grabbed one of the towels and prepared myself, I could throw up, or pass out, but it wouldn't be the best given the circumstances that I was the one responsible for this baby. Her agonizing screams blurred out any background noise around me, including the sound of the operator on the other line and the paramedics bursting through the front door. With a blink of the eye I went from happiness to immediate panic as the realisation hit that this baby was not crying. Ami knew something was wrong and slowly everything began to mute itself, the paramedics fumbling to save him, my sister continually asking the same question, the operator on the phone, everything was silent.

The silence continued for what seemed like forever until the thunderous cry of my newborn nephew brought me back to my senses. My immediate reaction was a huge sigh of relief as my hands gripped either side of my face, I just delivered a baby. And I hope to never do it again. "Okay so, we can't keep baby here, he's going to come with us back to the ER so we can make sure that he is healthy enough to be discharged. Mom if you will come with us we will make sure you also have no problems" one of the medics chimed in. Ami was reluctant to leave at first but eased up when I told her I'd drive to the hospital myself, and I'd bring the baby's bag with me.

I knew that I couldn't drive, not in the state that I was in, shaken up and nauseous isn't the best state to be driving in. So I began to call around. Most people didn't pick up, went straight to voicemail or immediately told me they were busy. Except one. "Hey Syd what's up?" Her voice was soft but slightly broken up due to the quality of the phone speakers. "Can you come to my mom's. It's an emergency." "Why what's happened?" She asked, a hint of worry now beginning to form in her tone. "It's easier to say in person, just be quick, please." I put the phone down and within minutes a knock came from the door.

The 5'7 Aussie turned into the kitchen and for a moment I didn't know what to do, I wanted to cry, I was angry, I was sad, confused but I let my heart take control over my brain for once. I sprinted towards her, throwing my arms around her and breaking down into her chest. Together or apart, I didn't matter, I felt safe in her arms, but I knew she had no idea what had happened, the only thing she could see was a bunch of bloody towels and my phone on the floor.

I went to my sister's room and grabbed the bag before getting in Demi's car and explaining everything to her. I'm not sure how much she understood, but she knew relatively what had gone on. The drive to the hospital was long, and silent, and quite awkward. We didn't quite know what to say to each other and there was the ever-looming thought that my mother had to say to me, because of course, she'd make me feel even worse about myself in some way.

*Time skip*

I had been asleep in the hospital waiting room for a few hours while Ami and my nephew were being checked up on, to make sure everything was okay. My mother was still a no show and demi was still right beside me. When I woke up I found her jacket resting on my chest and shoulders, It was nice, comforting, and it made me realise just how much I had missed her. she had left for a moment to get us both a coffee and that's when my mom burst through the doors. I immediately ran over to her to calm her down and the first thing she said to me "this is your fault!" A pit grew in my stomach as those words escaped her lips. Did she really just put the blame on me?  I knew what she meant by it, she meant that the reason my sister gave birth at home was my fault for not being there for her, and the fact that they were now in the hospital where they should've been from the beginning ultimately pushed her statement further.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to kill her, let out all my frustration, and demi could see that, which is why she ran for me. "Syd. Come on, ignore her let's go." "No. Not without Ami." I replied sternly, I wasn't going to let my mom dictate me anymore. "Why do you need to wait for her?" My mother's voice was cold and harsh but I wasn't going let her stop me. "That's my sister. I'm the one who was there for her! Where were you when she was collapsed on the floor, where were you when your grandson wasn't breathing?! Huh! You've never been there for her! So why now?! Because I wanna possibly give my nephew, your grandson a better shot at life than we ever got because you weren't a mother for us! You didn't do what you should've done! But you know what we all thought it was okay because dad was here but now he's gone and I'm finally beginning to see just how manipulative you really are! So she's coming with me and she's coming back to my apartment." My nose was red and tears stung my eyes as I watched my mother crumble at my feet.

"Syd-"