Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Teruhashi, Perfect Pretty Girl

TERUHASHI, PERFECT PRETTY GIRL
(with Appearances by Riki Nendou, Saiki Kusuo, and a Special Guest)

My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I was born with psychic powers. I also have a hit TV show available on Netflix, although I have to warn you about Season 3, also known as Reawakened. It's not as good as the first two seasons, but it's still better than anything else on TV. This is just a disclaimer: I'm not going to be offering my sporadic opinions for this particular episode like I did with Kaidou. This time, the first-person narrator and protagonist is Teruhashi, and the last thing I want is for her to think I'm paying attention to her. So there won't be any commentary from me this time. Instead, I've granted some of my powers to my good friend (and sometimes nemesis), Riki Nendou. Everybody knows Nendou's a moron, but he's still smart enough to wonder why he can suddenly hear the inner thoughts of another person. When it's all over, I'll just make him believe it was a dream, and that'll be that. I'm going to have some of my beloved coffee jelly in peace. Enjoy the story.

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Here I am, walking to school all alone, and Saiki is nowhere to be found. I'm sure if he saw me today he'd finally blush and say "Oh, wow!" It's so hard being a perfect pretty girl. And I'm not even mean to anyone. I'm pretty and nice, and that's a rare combina –

Hey, Teruhashi, I'll walk to school with you!

Wait. What? What's that voice in my head? Who are you?

Stop kidding around, Teruhashi. Don't you know your pal Nendou when you see him?

See him?... I don't see anyone. I just hear a voice in my head.

Well I can see me. Why can't you?

I don't know. Your voice just suddenly appeared in my head. I guess you can hear my thoughts?

Of course, I can! And you look really great, too.... Wow, what a weird dream this is!

[He already thinks it's a dream. I suppose my work is already done. That's my first and only comment. Please proceed with the rest of Teruhashi's story].

You can see me, too?

Well not right now, but you were looking in the mirror earlier, so – yeah. You look great.

Do you really think so? Now you have me blushing, Riki Nendou.

Oh, wow. I've never made a girl blush before, well except that time when I fell asleep at my desk and peed myself in class. Most of the kids were laughing, and the ones who weren't laughing were blushing out of embarrassment.

Oh, Nendou. That must've been awful for you, to have that happen to you as a small child.

Small child? It just happened yesterday.

[What a pain. I can't believe I gave Nendou the power to hear Teruhashi's thoughts, and he's talking to her about peeing himself.]

Oh. OK. Well, I'm sure it was just as traumatic yesterday as it would've been when you were a child.

Of course it is! I should know. I've actually fallen asleep in class and peed myself in every grade level so far. It's probably a world record! Come to think of it, that's still not as much as Akechi. He pees himself daily. So wait – I guess that means it's not a record for me. I got all excited for nothing.

[Nendou, you moron. One more comment about peeing yourself, and I'm removing your powers and never giving them to you again].

Oh. I don't really know what to say, Nendou. I don't usually have guys talking to me about peeing themselves.