Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Judgment Knights of Blunders

My name is Kusuo Saiki, and -- wait, what?-- I have no idea what's happening with that title. That's kinda weird, right? I don't remember it looking like that before. Maybe that inter-dimensional rift thing created by Hisoka and Machi (two dastardly villains from another far away plane of existence) had more of an impact than I originally thought. Of course, those two maniacal misanthropes have been cast back into the abyss where they belong! They were never a match for everyone's favorite hero, THE JET BLACK WINGS. I remember meeting them in a dark alley, staring them down, and then giving that killer clown guy a stiff uppercut, then a heavy dose of BLACK BEAT, and then --

[Kaidou, what are you doing]?

Oh, hey, Saiki!... I was just... (gulp)... um... I was um.... 

[Were you narrating again]?

No!... definitely not!... well... Maybe!... um... Yes!...

[We've already talked about this].

I know, but I was just recounting the AMAZING TALE OF THE TWO MYSTERIOUS STRANGERS WITH PINK HAIR FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION FAR FAR AWAY.

[That title needs work].

You have a good point there. I'll just call it JUDGMENT KNIGHTS OF THUND --

[That title is taken].

Oh for crying out loud! Fine!... We'll call it JUDGMENT KNIGHTS OF BLUNDERS then and bring shame upon my family for generations! Does that make you happy?

[Not really, but it'll have to suffice].

Let's forget the title for a minute and focus on something much more important!.... I should have a chance to be the narrator sometimes!... Gimme another chance!... 

[No].

Pleeeeeease?

[Not after that cliched "dark and stormy night" stuff].

Awwww, cmon, Saiki!... You know, come to think of it, I've already had another chance to be the narrator!.. Remember that really cool D&D story? I was the Dungeon Master, and you were one of my unwitting pawns! I was the puppet-master, and you were on my strings. I was -- 

[That was an alternate universe].

Oh wow! An alternate universe?

[Yes. You can't trust anything that happened in it].

But I... 

[Never speak of it again].

OK, but what about that inter-dimensional portal?... and all sorts of other cool sci-fi stuff that keeps happening?... special powers... clones... volcanic eruptions... Speaking of which, did you ever think we're living in a simulation?

[I don't think we are. I know we are].

Wait. What was that?... I didn't hear you.

[Nothing].

Well, anyhow, I'm going to continue the story. I was really on a roll!...The JET BLACK WI --

[I said NO].

Why not?

[Just a little thing called identity theft].

What?! Somebody stole my identity?! What can happen?! What should I do?! Do I need to call the police and file a report?! My mom is going to be so upset!

[Good grief. Stop whining. I'm talking about my identity, not yours].

What?!... I don't know what you mean.