Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Saiki K Says BI (Bye) to His Girlfriend?... Part 2 of 2

And now... the startling conclusion... AIURA and SAIKI are in the ramen shop, and KAIDOU just left the table...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[....]

AIURA
(standing in front of SAIKI, hands on her waist)
What's that look for?..

SAIKI as KURIKO
[That was embarrassing and impressive at the same time].

AIURA
(sitting back down)
Yeah, well at least he's gone!... and no help from you!... Kur... Kus...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Kuriko].

AIURA
(sighing and waving her hand)
Yeah, yeah, whatevs... So finally!... our time alone.... and.... (looking at SAIKI).... you're a chick!... When will you change back?...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[About two hours].

AIURA
(looking at SAIKI and biting her lip)
Hmmm... well maybe... We can have some fun will you're still a chick...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[I don't like the sound of this...]

AIURA
(looking devilish)
Oh, stop being so lame!... We could have so much fun, Kusuo... I mean, Kuriko... (winking and making a kissy face)

SAIKI as KURIKO
[I think I'm speechless...]

AIURA
(standing up and beckoning SAIKI)
Come with me... Now listen... I know you've never done anything like this before, but I have sooooo much experience.... It's going to be so good!...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[I just remembered... my mom... she wanted me to help with --]

AIURA
(pulling SAIKI out of the seat, but SAIKI resists)
Oh Em Gee!... stop being so stubborn!... Are you allergic to fun?

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Aiura, you're my girlfriend, and I enjoy spending time with you -- but we are not doing what you're suggesting. I'm sorry. I just can't. I'm not ready for something like that].

AIURA
(shocked, stops pulling on SAIKI)
What?... Why are you getting all upset?... And you're calling me Aiura instead of Mikoto again?.. Why?.. I was just trying to be nice!

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Nice? This sounds like Toritsuka's version of "nice"...]

AIURA
(shocked and slightly offended)
What?... Toritsuka?... Where's all this coming from?... All because I want to take you shopping?

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Wait. What?...]

AIURA
(staring at SAIKI)
Shopping!... I want to take you shopping!

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Shopping...]

AIURA
(shaking her head and rolling her eyes)
Ummm YEAH!... Helloooo!.... I mean, you're a chick now, right?... This is like every girl's dream, isn't it?... to go shopping with her boyfriend AND have him not complain about it?...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[So let me get this straight.... You're talking about shopping].

AIURA
(laughing)
Kusuo, you're not usually this slow! What on earth did you think I was talking about? (grabbing SAIKI and walking to the door)

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Well, of course.... You were talking about shopping. That's exactly what I thought].

AIURA
(grabbing SAIKI by the arm as they walk out)
OK... Then.... Why did you look so nervous?...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Isn't it obvious?... With this economy, the idea of spending large sums of money would make anyone nervous...]

AIURA
(eyeing SAIKI suspiciously)
Riiiiight... the economy.... Yeah.... (nodding and then)... So do you wanna go shopping or not?

SAIKI as KURIKO
[As long as we get coffee jelly afterwards].

AIURA
(kissing SAIKI on the cheek)
Of course, Kusuo, I mean... Kuriko! It's a deal. Now let's go this way (pointing down a busy street). There's this place with all sorts of jewelry and makeup, and we totally have to give you a makeover!...

SAIKI as KURIKO
[It's not enough that I transform into a woman?... I need a makeover, too?...]

AIURA
(laughing as they walk)
Nobody needs a makeover, you silly boy!... or silly girl!... You get one because it's so totally fun!... and we can do mani-pedis and massages and --

SAIKI as KURIKO
[What a pain... What did I get myself into?..]

AIURA
(kissing SAIKI on the cheek again, running, and pulling SAIKI along)
Oh, I can totally tell you what you've gotten yourself into!... But it's much more fun to show you!

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Good gr -- ]

AIURA
(pulling SAIKI and smiling)
Enough of that "good grief" stuff... It's just GOOD!... No grief!

SAIKI as KURIKO
[Yes, dear. Of course, dear. You're right dear].

AIURA
(smiling widely as they run together)
You totally say the sweetest things!

As you can see, I didn't say "bi" (or "bye") to my girlfriend. That was just a clever play on words. This was really the story of how I turned into a girl to spend more time with my girlfriend. It seems counterintuitive at first, but when you think about it, it's the perfect plan... We did everything Mikoto said -- massages, a makeover, manicure, pedicure, shopping. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. At the end of the night, we even had more coffee jelly at Cafe Mami. By that point, I had turned back into Kusuo. I think I only said "What a pain" and "Good grief" two or three times each throughout the entire night. And we kissed again. When I was Kuriko, Mikoto kissed me on the cheek over and over again. When I was Kusuo, we kissed on the lips. Really classy like before. Just a few seconds. Minimal saliva. I'm not ready for that yet. But like I've said, with Mikoto, I can be myself -- whether it's my female self or my male self... and the best part? I was Kuriko and Kusuo, but never Kunio. In fact, Kunio didn't make a single appearance... So that's that... Good night, everybody...

AND... SMOOCHIES!

Good grief. This is what happens when you have a super-powered girlfriend... And I already told you, I won't say "smoochies."

Ummm, well, you just said "smoochies," Kusuo!... You're so cute when you contradict yourself!... My powerful pinky pie!...

What a pain. Let's wrap this up, OK?... Good night, everyone... and... Good night, Mikoto.

Good night, Kusuo... or Kuriko... or... just... yeah... Good night! AND... SMOOCHIES!