Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Saiki K and Hisoka (Again) - Part 2 of 2

Continued from SAIKI K and HISOKA (Again) - Part 1 of 2

HISOKA
(laughing maniacally)
Just kidding!

SAIKI
[What?...]

HISOKA
(trying to contain his laughter)
I'm kidding, you silly goose!... Just a joke!... I'm not your father.

SAIKI
[Some joke].

HISOKA
(still holding back laughter)
I just wanted you to believe it for a few seconds, maybe cause some panic, but you're so boring!... You barely even reacted.

SAIKI
[Hisoka, I'm giving you to the count of --]

HISOKA
(waving off SAIKI's comment)
Count of three!... five!... seven!... eleven!.... Oh I love prime numbers!

SAIKI
[Fine. Sit here and joke. I'm going home].

HISOKA
(laughing at first but then becoming serious)
Well yes, of course, but eventually you might have nowhere to go home to...

SAIKI
[What are you talking about? Is this another one of your tricks?...]

HISOKA
(squinting and staring into SAIKI'S eyes)
Unfortunately, this is all too real. That's why I grabbed you before. I need you to hear this.

SAIKI
[Sorry. Not interested].

HISOKA
(leaning across the table)
What if I told you a swarm of murderous interdimensional aliens will be arriving in your universe within the next few hours, and the only way for you to defeat them is to beg for my help?

SAIKI
[Still not interested].

HISOKA
(shaking his head)
Such an arrogant little child you are!... These aliens will obliterate you before you even realize what's happening. They can vaporize you!... annihilate you!...

SAIKI
[Why is this suddenly sound like the plot of a bad STAR TREK episode?...]

HISOKA
(pretending to be serious)
Hey! I'm supposed to be the one making the jokes!

SAIKI
[Exactly. And instead you're feeding me some nonsense story about aliens. I can't wait for the part when you say: "just kidding!"...]

HISOKA
(suddenly bursting into laughter)
Well, what can I say?... You caught me. I was joking around with you again, just a harmless little prank, just trying to get a rise out of you.

SAIKI
[You're worse than Kaidou on April Fool's Day...]

HISOKA
(furrowing his brow)
Have I met this Kaidou?...

SAIKI
[I don't remember, and I honestly don't care].

HISOKA
(sipping from his latte)
Fine, fine. Be that way. You'll want me as your ally eventually.

SAIKI
[Not a chance].

HISOKA
(still sipping from his latte)
A day will come, Kusuo, when you not only need my help but also want my help.

SAIKI
[I'd sooner call upon THE JET-BLACK WINGS for help].

HISOKA
(furrowing his brow)
Have I met these... Jet-Black Wings?...

SAIKI
[Didn't we just do this?...]

HISOKA
(waving away SAIKI'S remark, drinking deeply from his latte)
Well, nonetheless, this latte is absolutely delicious. You should try one.... Oh, I see you've finished your second dish of coffee jelly... So insatiable... (licking his lips)

SAIKI
[Yes, and now I'm definitely going home].

HISOKA
(laughing)
Well, here's a word of caution.... When you arrive home, you'll find yourself embroiled in chaos.... yes, delicious chaos (licking his lips again)... a young child named Yuuta... your dear, sweet, lovely mother... and someone named... Baron Cola?... See for yourself.

SAIKI
[Clairvoyance!.... Oh, no.... You're mostly right. That's Baron Cola on the TV screen, but the guy standing in my living room, that's Nendou].

HISOKA
(furrowing his brow)
Have I met this Nendou?...

SAIKI
[Stop doing that].

HISOKA
(smirking)
Stop doing what?

SAIKI
[Just stop... I suppose I can stay here for a little while longer, but that doesn't change anything between us].

HISOKA
(smiling widely, feeling delighted)
Excellent!.... Hey you! Young lady with the glasses! Another large coffee jelly for my dearest of friends!.... And now, Kusuo, we can talk about your love life!

SAIKI
[On second thought, I just remembered I have a prior commit --]

HISOKA
(laughing)
Sit down, you lovely lad. I'm just toying with you again.

SAIKI
[It's a tough choice. Stay here and deal with your nonsense, or go home and deal with the opposite of peace and quiet while my mom babysits Yuuta for the next six hours...]

HISOKA
(smiling and running his fingers through his hair)
Decisions, decisions....

SAIKI
[And I decide... Teleport!...]

HISOKA
(still in the cafe, looking around)
Now where did he run off to?... Such a slippery fellow, isn't he?... I suppose I should get home. Machi. Mia. The Phantom Troupe.... all waiting for me... Perhaps next time I'll recruit Kusuo to our cause.... We shall see.... (snapping fingers, disappearing in a puff of smoke)

Now I'm the one laughing. It shows how much Hisoka actually knows about my powers. I didn't teleport away from the cafe. I was still sitting there. I said "Teleport," but I only became invisible. After all, I didn't want that third order of coffee jelly to go to waste. So here I am, the Invisible Man, eating my coffee jelly in peace. I'm sure I'll find something to do while I wait for Yuuta to go home. And Nendou too. I'd rather not hang out with him today.

What about me, Kusuo?

Oh, hey, Mikoto...

Let's hang together!

Well, I suppose I could, but I think my mom needs me to --

Oh cmonnnnn. Don't be lame. Finish that coffee jelly and get your butt over here.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'll ever get any peace and quiet.

Not with me, Kusuo. You'll get fun, fun, fun!

(Sigh).... OK Mikoto... I suppose I can come over... 

And then you can totally transform into Kuriko, and we can go shopping!

Good grief.... Hisoka?... Are you there?... Tell me more about the aliens. That's obviously a very important topic. It might prevent me from spending time with my girlfriend, but... 

I heard that, Kusuo!

With friends like these, I choose enemies.

I heard that too, Kusuo!