Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Saiki K and Another Interdimensional Incursion

My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I was born with psychic powers. I don't like the looks of that title, especially if it means what I think it means, but I suppose I'll have to live with it. This is, after all, my disastrous life. Things like this are supposed to happen. If it were anything different, like "The Normal Life of Saiki K" or worse, "The Boring Life of Saiki K," nobody would care. Come to think of it, most of the time I'm not even sure whether I care. So how should I expect you to care?... especially if my show has a terrible title. Either way, enjoy the story, and with any luck, reality as we know it won't come to an end.

HISOKA
(suddenly appearing out of nowhere, standing arms akimbo right in front of SAIKI)
Square up, bubblegum....

SAIKI
[Not this again].

HISOKA
(laughing and running his fingers through his hair)
Oh yes.... This.... Again.

SAIKI
[Stop looking at me that way].

HISOKA
(laughing and clapping his hands)
It's so much fun making people uncomfortable!

SAIKI
[Uncomfortable is an understatement].

HISOKA
(looking SAIKI up and down)
I think you're just afraid... because I owned you before.

SAIKI
[Let's not talk about that].

HISOKA
(walking toward SAIKI)
Let's not talk at all, precious boy. Let's play!.... Oh, that look on your face! Am I really so repulsive?...

SAIKI
[Let's see... You remind me of Chono on his worst day, Toritsuka on his best day, the effeminate Nendou from that alternate universe, and the real Nendou when we mistakenly thought he was stalking children. So yes, that checks out. You're repulsive].

HISOKA
(laughing and bowing)
I take that as a compliment coming from you, you lovely boy.

SAIKI
[You're a sick bastard].

HISOKA
(laughing and standing arms akimbo again)
That's a bit on the nose. Getting right to the point now, are we?

SAIKI
[I want you gone from this universe. The last time you showed up, I ended up going on bad dates  and getting into other weird situations for weeks].

HISOKA
(frowning and pretending to wipe away a tear)
Oh, how terrible for you!... How can I make it up to you?

SAIKI
[You can leave].

HISOKA
(still frowning)
Oh, you're no fun at all!... I haven't even killed anyone yet!

Please don't ever tell him I said this, but sometimes I wish Kaidou was actually the JET BLACK WINGS. He'd be a hero for the entire world to respect and admire rather than just being a hero in his own mind. Don't get me wrong. I don't actually need or want his help dealing with HISOKA. But if Kaidou were a true hero, then HISOKA would be pestering him right now instead of me. I'd be sitting in a cafe enjoying coffee jelly instead of engaging in this back-and-forth repartee with a killer clown from another dimension. Just my luck. Kaidou was born with zero powers, except the ability to annoy everyone. I was born with more abilities than I can count. Well, except for Nen. That's why HISOKA beat me before. This time, I still don't have Nen, but maybe I can outsmart him. Maybe it's like chess, or better yet, a poker game. Maybe I can fool him into thinking I can beat him so he'll go away. Then I can move on with the rest of my day.

SAIKI
[What do you want, Hisoka?...]

HISOKA
(smiling and pointing at SAIKI)
Ah! Right to the point again. Such a fine little lass. Well, born as a lass, chose to be a lad. To each their own.