Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Judgment Knights of Blunders, Episode II, the Revenge of the Jet Black Wings

My name is Shun Kaidou, and I'm a typical teen heartthrob. That's right. I get all the chicks. Young. Old. Married women swoon in my presence. It must be my manly pheromones. The girls scream, they claw at each other, they commit acts of violence just to get a glimpse of me. I can smell the estrogen as I exit my limousine. You've seen the kind Saiko Metori rides in? Yeah well, he gets his off the used Limo lot, after I'm done with them of course. Mine are brand-spanking new. Fresh off the assembling line. Thousands of horse power. There's really nothing like having a long, black, powerful car with tinted windows. It tells the world, "Outta the way, nobodies. Step aside, you nameless, faceless mob. I'm somebody. I'm Shun Kaidou"... Now where was I?... Ah yes, my fans. I should call them fanatics, really. When I'm not fighting off a throng of star-struck teen girls and their moms and grandmoms, I'm saving the world as the mysterious hero known only as THE JET BLACK WINGS. This is my story.

[Well at least it's not "It was a dark and stormy night"....]

Thanks, Saiki! Do you like it? I mean, I'm doing my best to not be a cliche anymore!

[You've exchanged one cliche for another].

Wait... What?!... No, this is completely original.

[Right. The world has never seen a sexist egomaniac before...]

Really?!...Really, Saiki?!... Do you mean it?!

[You have no ear for sarcasm. Now let's go get some coffee jelly].

No, but I have a nose for crime. Can you smell that, Saiki? I can. I'm like a wolf. I'm life a half-man, half-wolf. I'm like a werewolf! I'm like a --

[Just get on with it already].

Such a demanding tone from you! You're talking to the one and only Shun Kaidou also known as THE JET BLACK WINGS, the Judgment Knight of Thunder!... Don't you forget it! If you're respectful, I might ask you to be my trusty sidekick. But only if --

[You're much more tolerable as a simpering weakling].

I'm being serious, Saiki! This is no time to joke, not when the stakes are so high. My keen senses have detected the foul stench of evil-doers!

[That's not evil-doers. It's Nendou. He's been lurking around here for the past ten minutes].

Nendou? I don't see him anywhere!

[He's right behind you].

Ahhhhh!... Oh hey Nendou!... I didn't see you there.

[So much for your "keen senses"...]

Hey, Little Guy! You should be able to see me because I'm bigger. It's tough to see you though because you're such a little runt!... He he he.

Yeah, funny as always, Nendou... Just a barrel of laughs... but see... This is my time with Saiki. Maybe you can come back later?... Right Saiki?

[Leave me out of this].

Fine. I'll come back later, runt. He he he. See you guys.

That was easier than I thought.

[You're right. It was too easy. I could use the sum total of my powers, and still... Nendou never leaves. How did you do that?...]

Beats me.... I mean -- OF COURSE I SUCCEEDED. I am the world's greatest hero, after all. No one can stop the power of the JET BLACK WINGS. No one!... not Nendou... not Saiko Metori.. not Saiki Kusuo... not --

[Why am I included in that group?...]

Well because, I guess, I suppose, well.... I mean -- BECAUSE I SAID SO, underling!