Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Saiki K Goes on a Fishing Trip

My name is Saiki Kusuo, and I was born with psychic powers. For some reason, my mom insists that I spend time with my friends, even when I want to be alone and have peace and quiet. This time, Nendou and Kaidou want to go on a fishing trip. Before I head down to the docks, I'll be buying pills for motion sickness. I've learned that being on a boat can be nauseating; in fact, if I'm being honest, the results can be disastrous. Thankfully today, it'll only be the two idiots and me....

NENDOU
(walking toward SAIKI and KAIDOU, carrying a bunch of fishing poles)
Heyyyy, Buddy!.... I just rented the boat, and I got all these poles. I hope it'll be enough!

KAIDOU
(looking at the large bundle of poles NENDOU is carrying)
Enough?!... How many poles did you get anyway? It'll just be the three of us!... We don't need twenty poles!

SAIKI
[I don't have the energy to play referee for these two morons today].

NENDOU
(annoyed at KAIDOU)
Shows how much you know! This is fifteen poles, not twenty!.. I always bring four or five poles per person! It's called common sense! Whenever you catch a fish and you cut the line, you need a new pole!

KAIDOU
(baffled)
What?!... A new pole every time?... That's not how it works!

SAIKI
[Kaidou is right, of course, but I won't give him the satisfaction. I'll let these two settle this disagreement on their own... for now].

NENDOU
(annoyed)
Well if you want to be an idiot and only use one pole, that's fine! More poles for Saiki and me!... (pointing about fifty feet away near the docks)... Plus I brought some tackleboxes filled with hooks and sinkers and bobbers and all that stuff!

KAIDOU
(eyeing up the poles and looking toward the tackleboxes)
Fine... Let's see... I'll take that one! (pointing to one of the longest poles)

SAIKI
[I doubt that Kaidou has the strength to lift that pole, but I'm staying out of this].

NENDOU
(shaking his head)
No, no, no. That one's for me, runt! I'm twice your size, so I need the biggest poles!

KAIDOU
(annoyed)
Fine! Give me whatever pole you want. I'm still going to out-fish you today. 

SAIKI
[Is that really a thing?... People try to out-fish each other?...]

NENDOU
(laughing, as the poles are now falling out of his hands and hitting the ground)
In your dreams, Mr. Shrimp!... You'll never out-fish me!

KAIDOU
(lunging toward NENDOU)
Oh yeah?... Well my dreams are like visions of the future... and they come true!... So says the JET BLACK WINGS!

SAIKI
[What a pain. I was hoping we wouldn't have to deal with this mode today].

NENDOU
(laughing and yelling)
Enough mumbo jumbo, Mr. Buffalo Chicken Wings! (pointing at the poles) Just help me pick up these poles and then we'll go get those tackleboxes.

KAIDOU
(mumbling and grumbling as he struggles to pick up the fishing poles)
Fine!... Can't even get a long pole... Plenty of them... Not tall enough...

SAIKI
[We haven't even started yet, and I already want to go home].

NENDOU
(walking and beckoning KAIDOU and SAIKI in the direct of the tackleboxes)
This way, fellas!... The boat is docked right over here, too!... She's a real beauty! Except for Saiko's yacht, she has to be the nicest boat I've ever seen!

KAIDOU
(walking and having a tough time holding the bunch of poles)
Wow!.. I have to admit... I was a bit skeptical, Nendou... but if this boat is half as nice as Saiko's yacht, we're going to have a great day!

SAIKI
[I have a bad feeling about this].

NENDOU
(walking and then stopping at the end of one of the docks)
I guess we'll need these tackleboxes (lifting them into his arms)...and (taking a few more steps).. Here she is!... Isn't she amazing? I'm gonna call her the Grand Queen of the Seas!

KAIDOU
(dropping the poles, staring at the boat with his mouth gaping open)
What?!... This is the boat?!... It's just a rowboat!... It's barely big enough to fit the three of us, let alone all these fishing poles and tackleboxes!

SAIKI
[Kaidou is right again, but just like before, I'd rather not intervene].

NENDOU
(waving at KAIDOU)
Oh stop, runt!.... This boat is perfectly fine!... You're just being a wimp!

KAIDOU
(annoyed)
Perfectly fine?... Saiki and I could fit in the boat, but once you get in, we'll tip over!... I've already seen it with my precognition! The JET BLACK WINGS is never wrong about this sort of thing!

SAIKI
[Here we go again].

NENDOU
(yelling at KAIDOU and dropping the tackleboxes)
Oh yeah?!... Well I'll show you! (jumping off of the dock into the rowboat, causing the boat to break in half and capsize immediately).... What the?!... (splashing into the water)... Heeeelp!... Heeelp!...

KAIDOU
(dropping the fishing poles and panicking)
Oh no!... Nendou!... I can't swim!.. Wait a minute! I thought you could swim!

SAIKI
[Good grief. This the bay. The water is three feet deep. There's actually a five-year-old kid with his parents, wading in the water just a few docks down].

NENDOU
(still yelling and flailing)
Heeeeelp!... Help me!... Saikiiii!... Ruuunt!...(then realizing that he can put his feet down)... Oh hey!... Whaddaya know? I can stand up. It's all good, fellas! (smiling and giving them a thumbs up)

KAIDOU
(still panicking)
It's not all good!... Look at what you did to the boat! (pointing to the two broken pieces of the small rowboat)... Our fishing trip is ruined!

SAIKI
[As usual, I'm regretting my decision to come today...]

NENDOU
(climbing onto the dock)
Wait!... They've gotta have other boats for us to rent... We can still make a day of it!.... I'll go find us Grand Queen of the Seas II!

KAIDOU
(shaking his head)
No, thanks. The JET BLACK WINGS has urgent business! Heroic business!... So yeah, I'm headed home. (walking away)... Bye guys. I'll see you at school on Monday. 

SAIKI
[Yes, exactly. Time to go home and -- well -- do anything but this].

NENDOU
(disappointed but understanding)
Fine, fine... I get it... I messed it up... I'll do better next time... I'm gonna head home, too... well, after I pay for the boat I cracked in half... (walking away toward the office that handles boat rentals)

SAIKI
(looking down at the broken rowboat)
[It's a shame to waste a perfectly nice, partly-cloud, partly-sunny summer day...]

I thought the fishing trip was going to be annoying. It actually turned out to be really nice, once Nendou and Kaidou were out of the way. I used my powers to reconstruct the rowboat so that it was like new again. I added a few comfort features like pillows, cushioning, and a nice canopy.

Now here I am, laying down and enjoying the beautiful weather. I can hear seagulls, the wind, the waves... I'm going to enjoy this for a little while and then eventually teleport back home. I have a date with Mikoto tonight. We're getting some coffee jelly together at Cafe Mami and then, not sure what else. I'm sure smoochies will be involved... Ah what a peaceful --

Kusuo, you are so right!... Plenty of smoochies later!... and then even more smoochies after that!

Just when I thought I was going to have a peaceful afternoon...

I heard that!

I'll see you later, Mikoto. 

Yes, my cutie Kusuo! We'll see each other later!

For now, I'm enjoying some peace and -- oh no -- is that Nendou?... Running from the boat rental office?... With the police chasing after him?... Please don't tell me he's going to end up in jail again, and -- wait -- Kaidou?... Chasing after the police?... Shouting about DARK REUNION?... What a pain.. These two idiots... I suppose I'll have to save them... AGAIN... I guess my peaceful afternoon isn't going to be so peaceful after all....