Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Tomorrow, We're Doing PITCHERS, Guys!

KUNIHARU
I'm late! Kusuo, I need your help getting to work!

KUSUO
[Not this again....]

KUNIHARU
Kusuoooooo! I'll get you as much coffee jelly as --

KUSUO
[You were saying?...]

KUNIHARU
Oh! Hey! We're already there? I didn't even have a chance to put my shoes on yet. I can't just walk around in bare feet -- not even in Japan!

KUSUO
[Fine].

KUNIHARU
Oh! OK! There they are! That's a great trick, son!

KUSUO
[You make me sound like Chouno].

KUNIHARU
Oh, that Chouno is... TRES BIEN!

KUSUO
[I've had enough. I'll collect my fee later].

KUNIHARU
Fee?... Oh, you mean the coffee jelly. Yes, as much as --

KUSUO
[Yes. Go on].

KUNIHARU
Well, I was going to say..... as much as I can afford... which isn't much!

KUSUO
[Fine. I'll just teleport you back home].

KUNIHARU
Waaaait! Kusuo!... I need this job. It's the best one I've had in years! Instead of licking shoes, I'm making them!

KUSUO
[You're not with the doubly-obscure manga publisher SHUENSHA, not to be confused with mega-popular manga publisher SHUEISHA, anymore?...]

KUNIHARU
That's right, son! No more Shonen Cognac for me!... I've been here at Reebonk for the past three weeks.

KUSUO
[Reebok?... Wow. They're a top-tier sneaker brand. Reebok represents quality. Of course, they're often overshadowed by -- ]

KUNIHARU
I think you misheard me, son. I said ReeBONK, not Reebok.

KUSUO
Ree... BONK?

KUNIHARU
Yes. BONK, with an "n."

KUSUO
[So instead of a cheap knockoff manga magazine, you're working for a cheap knockoff sneaker company?...]

KUNIHARU
Correct.... Except I did actually work for Re-Bach, but you see, it was --

KUSUO
[Wait. The actual Reebok?... BOK?... not BONK?...]

KUNIHARU
Yes, Bach. Not Bonk, but you see, it was --

KUSUO
[Reebok. That's actually respectable. It makes me wonder why you're wasting your time with ReeBONK, especially since -- ]

KUNIHARU
Re-Bach is a music company.

KUSUO
[Reebok is a music company? Are they expanding their brand?...]

KUNIHARU
No, that's all they do. Baroque. Classical. Romantic. None of that fancy new wave stuff the kids listen to these days...

KUSUO
[Reebok?... Music?... What am I missing?...]

KUNIHARU
Well see, son, it's just a matter of spelling.

KUSUO
[Spelling?...]

KUNIHARU
Yes. Reebok. R - E - E - B - O - K.... versus.... Re-Bach. R - E - hyphen - B - A - C -H.

KUSUO
[Good grief].

KUNIHARU
Of course, I was also with Re-Box --

KUSUO
[Reeboks. But obviously not the sneaker company, spelled differently, etc].

KUNIHARU
No, not the sneaker company, but sometimes we repackaged actual Reeboks. That was fun. Most of the time were were repackaging Cyborg Cider Man soda bottles that had fallen out of the box. And let me tell you something, son, that stuff stays good for years, so just ignore the expiration date.

KUSUO
[I've heard enough].

KUNIHARU
Well, thank you, son. Have a great day! I'm off to work for the one and only Reebonk!

KUSUO
[Excellent use of irony. Meanwhile, I don't ever want to think about Reebok, ReeBONK, or anything similar ever again. Come to think of it, I'm going to buy some Nikes].

THE END