impermanence

eleven.

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 / 𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒅𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒊 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒊𝒕

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

when nothing bad is going on
so you clench your teeth in anticipation
of the next crash—

when you start to shake,
because you haven't eaten all day—

when you feel like summer is
the worst months of the year
because your friends don't even
acknowledge you—

when you stay up far too late, letting
the sleepiness sink into your bones—

when i wake up in the morning,
i blink sleep out of my eyes
and in doing so,
i get rid of the memory of my dreams
and all their hazy lies.

i fall in love every day,
over and over again,
with no way to say
the words out loud.

i am soaked with sadness,
and some days it recedes
but it never truly leaves.

my existence, it rips at the seams.

this house is suffocating,
walls closing in;

my room is dark
and i'm too scared
to open my eyes—
what hides in the unseen?

i lack poetic prose,
trying but failing,
words wilting like a rose.

during summer,
it all sinks in.