impermanence

twenty-five.

𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i want an angry name
to match my angry existence
but this anger isn't mine,
i just inherited it down the line

i write the same poem
over and over again
with different words,
different ways to describe
the same pain

and in december
my hair will be the longest it's been
in years

i'm so tired of being alone
of feeling this anger to the bone

holding a warm mug between
my hands,
spitting out beach sand

who am i?
somebody please let me know
i'm feeling like a stranger in my
own home

i'm tired of giving all my time
for nothing in return
but a stupid little rhyme
and a promise we can't keep

picking strawberries in the summer
and pumpkins in the fall,
time after time i always lose it all

these people aren't my friends
and this day cannot be the end

words spilling out onto the page
life, an endless play on the stage
a show where we age and age,

and no one bats an eye
sitting on the wall like a fly

i can't tell if i like you
or if i even like myself
this can't be good for my health

but until it bubbles up
i'll raise my cup
and say "i'm fine"

i'm fine.