impermanence

nineteen.

𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒅

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i think i misplaced
pieces of my gender
somewhere along childhood
so now nothing makes sense,
life scattered along train tracks

you ask about my name changing so often
ask me for my name every time we meet
and i wish i could give the same answer

but here i am, changing again

again
and again
and again

i told you my name yesterday
but what's my name today?
honestly, i'm not sure i can say

here i am, crying because i don't fit;
somehow i'm a puzzle piece
bent out of shape
and i don't fit into the picture in the least

listening to music late at night
doesn't help quiet my urge to fight

don't ask who i am
cause i really don't know
i try to pin it down,
but still i change each night

everyone else figures themself out
and they stand for who they are
but here i slip as i'm reaching for the end,
the ledge, myself

and again
and again
again