impermanence

forty-nine.

𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 (𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

save me
save me
save me
save me
save me

but nobody is awake
or nobody is responding
or nobody cares

sometimes i feel like i'm going under
and the water is filling my lungs
so i let myself go
because i'm all alone
and no one is around to save me
god knows i can't save myself

i can't read
i can't write
i can't speak

i feel myself slipping away
the world is falling out from
under my feet
every second of every day
i waste away

you tell me i'm too young
to be feeling this way,
i know you're right but
i'm still going insane

11:11,
you tell me to make a wish
i can't say it out loud
for otherwise it won't come true
but i hope it was a good one
for me, for you

i love the sun, the moon, the stars
and i want to go so far
but i'm only falling behind

my friends don't know me
i don't know myself
i don't know them
and i haven't for a long long time

i want to say i'm sorry
i want to disappear
my brain is so unbearable
i don't know what is real

time is passing
i'm not sure how to keep going
how can i endure all the change
if nothing ever stays the same,
if there's nothing to hold on to

i feel sick
and my mother makes me
hate myself sometimes

i want to feel okay again
i want to feel better
but the morning light seeps in
and i feel just the same as i did

it's almost summer
and i'll be alone again
going under again

save me, please