thirty-five.

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𝒉𝒐𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i hold this mug
in my hands
and feel it warm my fingers up
but that warmth
doesn't spread to my heart

i feel all alone
staring at my phone
feeling my stomach ache

it's forty six degrees outside
and inside it feels just the same,
a frigid cold eating away at my soul

i wish i didn't like you
as much as i do

i wish winter didn't make me hurt,
light a match and
watch the fire burn

i've got one foot in the grave already
but honestly i'm not ready

keep staring at the man on the moon
hoping he'll come and get me
and take this sadness away
but i'm still here in the morning
and the match is burning at both ends

i can't bear talking today
and pretending to be okay
over and over and over again

my hot chocolate goes cold
as i stare out the window at the rain
and the streetlights turn to gold

i can only listen to the music
that feeds the sadness
in my brain,
but really there is nothing to gain

and in the morning,
the sun will rise
hold my hand and cover
my eyes
and we'll be alright

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