twenty-two.

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𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 & 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏; 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

there's a black ink blot
across my memories
and
there's this little girl
that i once knew
with golden hair and eyes so blue

like all kids do,
she laughed and smiled
she yelled and cried

but yet, here we are—
and no, she hasn't died
she didn't go missing,
and she wasn't stolen away,

she has just changed

now it is me,
a young adult
hopefully growing into a man

a little boy
with golden brown locks and
eyes wide like clocks

my parents child still lives within me
each step a blossoming, another petal
but that little girl is no longer with us

we stand in front of an empty casket,
the exact definition of all our eggs in one basket,
where my mom and dad cry
and my sister tells lies
about how i'll lay down inside
("give me some time")

the funeral is empty except for a few
people or so
sitting in chairs, lined up in a row

they talk about her
but they don't really know
she's still alive, just
within me now

they lower me into the ground
and say their last farewells
but it isn't my time to go,
so into a tree my ashes grow

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