Thirty Nine

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Maybe i'm not the most expressive person when it counts, maybe sometimes i hide behind other peoples opinions, and maybe at times i sit with my depression and let it consume me, unfortunately these things will remain maybes for who knows how long because i do not have the answers, i do not know, i want to say i do but i dont, i wish i knew but i dont, yet i cry, when in fact, i let the pain back into my life and heart, when i gave them front row seats to my misery, i yearn for something i had, but let go all on my own accord? maybe all i can do is cry cause if i'm not crying, i'm laughing at myself, and if i'm not laughing, i'm numb.

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