Until she was happy

Sixty Nine

The first thing i did when i read your text was think, I didn't want to overreact or take things personally or make it about me, then i responded in the most mellow way possible, but in reality, I have no words for you, I have none at all, even in writing this, words elude me, i guess i can say that i get your point, but hate the way you made it, your words insinuate that i've been horrible towards you, when i know that is not true, i know my faults and i'm learning to admit them, but this is simply not one, i cared i truly did, i still very much do, but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't tired too, but maybe for a different reason, i'm tired of the drama and complaining about you, I realised something in these past few weeks, it shouldn't be this hard, I used to make myself feel bad for not wanting to deal with the drama knowing you brings me sometimes, i convinced myself that it was because i just didn't want to try but it shouldn't be this hard, is it possible that we don't get along because we aren't meant to? I think so, you thrive without me and i thrive without you so why do we keep having these conversations, why do we keep saying we're tired and letting things roll on, i admit all my faults okay, i admit to disrespecting you sometimes okay, i apologise and i mean it, but i've never heard you say sorry, in your claim that i've been wrong to you, i've never heard you admit that you've been wrong too, when you know you have, but the thing is though, you don't have access to my life and i don't have access to yours, we won't know when each other wins, and i'm okay with that, i need to start moving forward with my life right now, i need brighter sides, but i don't need to tell you all this for it to be true, i truly believe what we have will fizzle out eventually, if i know one thing, it's that.