Thirty Four

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when did desire become my whole
when did i let go of the innocence and ignorance i blissfully indulged in
when did i let the bad things win
and why?
i'll do anything to feel anything
because one touch does something to me that a million words have failed to do
melt me
calm me
at least temporarily
and when it ends i find myself back in the abyss i thought i had escaped
it's not love i seek
it's desire
and within that, wholeness

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