Eighty Four

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I feel like I can hear everything right now, like my heart is beating so quick and i'm nervous for no reason, i'm discovering things about myself with nothing to show for it, all of that is very complex and it's obvious i can't go on like this, it's one thing to be deep in thought momentarily, it's another thing to be forever thinking, forever doubting, forever breathing quick, forever hearing everything around you and forever feeling sorry for yourself, I think i'm a lot more scared than I imagine, not necessarily frightened, but more so stalled, like scared to move because what if i don't like where i'm going, but also scared of stopping because I know i don't like where I am, but I have to do something eventually, maybe i'll start small, sometimes i'll move and sometimes i'll stand still, it's scarier to move though, it's better to sit in the pain you know, than to dance in the one you don't.

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